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Cultivating Resilience Practice 1: Give Yourself Permission to Feel

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Editor’s Note:

Bold Blind Beauty is thrilled to share with you snippets from Becky Andrews’ new book “Cultivating our Resilience Workbook/Journal.” Adversity strengthens and builds resilience; Becky will share weekly practices to help us become more resilient. ~Steph

Cultivating Resilience

Right now, we are individually and collectively experiencing interesting times with the pandemic. Collective grief, ambiguous losses, anticipatory grief, increased uncertainty are all part of our world each in our own unique ways. It is calling each of us to cultivate our resilience as we keep moving forward and take the pauses necessary that can bring gifts. 

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.

~CC Scott

In this series, we will talk about some practices that can help us Cultivate our Resilience.   

This is what I’m faced with right now in my life’s journey, while I’d like it to be different, I must allow myself to face the reality of what is happening. When you surrender you release attachment to how you feel your life should be and invite yourself to be in the presence of your life exactly as it is, while naturally difficult to do,
surrender is an act of courage.

~Alan Wolfelt

This quote encompasses a key foundation of resilience: to know that challenging times are part of our journey. We will all experience adversity and difficulty in this life. We are not alone. This common humanity and understanding is a foundation of resilience. It leads us to place of surrender and growth while honoring our journey.  

What Is Resilience? 

It is that capacity to reach down to our core and find hope amongst the difficult times. It is the capacity to navigate those difficult times that stretch us and in time to be transformed and grow from the experience.  

To cultivate our resilience means it is an action. It gives us hope to know that we can continue to cultivate – dig, nurture, create further resilience. The picture in the header represents resilience to me. It is a flower in the crack of the pavement. What effort it must take to find roots and nourishment to spring forward and bloom in this condition. 

  • Take a moment to reflect on a difficult time in your life. What strengths inside you got through that difficult time?
  • What is an example of a resilient person to you? What attributes do you admire about them?

Great News!

Resilience is a learned ability and we can acquire the skills at any time in our life. Resilient people are beautiful people.  

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

~Elisabathe Kubler-Ross

Resilience creates courage, kindness, and wisdom. So, how do we cultivate our resilience? Similar to digging in the dirt and cultivating a garden. We cultivate by focusing in on that aspect, careful attention, devoting time, and thought to the practice. So, cultivating our resilience takes some time, effort, and patience with ourselves in the process.  

As we start this series, we are collectively experiencing a challenging time as individuals, families, communities, countries, and our world. This has impacted us all on varying levels with increased anxiety, stress, uncertainties to our health – financial stability, grief, and losses. And, most likely on top of that, you are facing additional challenges in your life.  

Take a moment and acknowledge what your specific challenge(s) are that you are experiencing right now. As Mr. Rogers says:

The mentionable is then manageable.  

~Fred Rogers

We are going to offer 8 practices in this series, that can help us cultivate our resilience as we navigate those challenging times. 

Practice One: 

Give yourself permission to feel. Find healthy ways to process your feelings. Start this week to ask yourself how am I feeling? What do I need right now? 

This is our first step in this process to honor our feelings without judgment – to notice, name the feeling, accept and then choose a possible action.

This week find a quiet space each day to record your feelings. We will return next week to check-in and share resilient practice two.  

Becky Andrews, LCMHC

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Becky Andrews

Becky is offering her Cultivate your resilience courses via zoom for $25/6 week group. She will cover all the practices in this zoom course. Email her for details on the next course:

Connecting With Becky:


Cultivating our Resilience Workbook/Journal will be out Fall 2020. Email Becky at to be on the waiting list or preorder.

Image Descriptions:

  • Header: A singular bright yellow flower stands tall as it bursts through a crack in the pavement.
  • Becky is sitting on outdoor steps next to her guide dog, Georgie, a gorgeous yellow lab. 

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