A Lil’ Inspiration #32

“Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine.” ~Whoopi Goldberg

This is the best ever definition of normal!👍🏽👌🏽

#saturday #quote #whoopigoldberg #abilitiesnotdisabilities #abilities

Have a beautiful weekend!

Fabulous, Functional & Frugal Fashion Tip #25

How To Achieve Casual Monochromatic Look

Selfie of me with my shades on in my son's car.When I’m feeling blue and my energy levels are down a monochromatic outfit is in order. Adding just a smidge of bling and some new shades helps to lift my spirits. I created yesterday’s low-key vibe by going with several shades of gray.

The ensemble consisted of a charcoal gray tank top, gray capris, light gray hoodie tied around my waist, and gray sneakers. Earrings, cuff bracelet, shades, and white cane made me appear as if I hadn’t a care in the world. It’s worth mentioning that I got the capris and shoes on sale, added stacked coupons, and used Ebates to accumulate cash back on my online purchases.

Trio collage of me posing in a standing position with my white cane.
Capris | Kohl’s; Sneakers | DSW

After I uploaded the collage in this post it occurred to me this look serves another purpose as well. The range of gray from light to dark and shades in between is a simple example of sight loss. The similarities, although on a grander scale, demonstrate what the loss of sight looks like from vision that is sharp to no sight at all. It’s anywhere in between these two where varying degrees of sight loss occur.

Blindness is not simply seeing vs. unseeing. This is why we have to use great care in assumptions. Many people, myself included, use a white cane or guide dog even though we have residual vision. We need this mobility tool(s) to navigate safely and to let others know we cannot see very well.

Have a very nice Friday and a fab weekend!

 

When Confidence Wanes

“I am confident because I can admit who I am, what I’ve done, and love myself for who I’ve become.”

For close to 50 years I’ve lived with chronic depression. Being medicated for many of these years I don’t have a point of reference for what “normal” really feels like yet “normal” is the one thing just beyond my grasp and the one thing in life I’ve desired most.

Many might think that when you live with a chronic illness for so long it would get easier but for me, it’s just different. I’ve only learned within the past few years to identify some of the triggers which send me into a downward spiral.

It typically begins with nothing; like something doesn’t feel quite right but I can’t articulate what’s wrong. The more I try to figure out what’s causing my angst the more apprehensive I become. This immense pressure begins spreading throughout my chest making it almost impossible to do the simplest of daily tasks like getting up, making the bed, taking a shower, getting dressed, heck, even breathing is difficult because I’m hyper aware yet paralyzed.

I feel overwhelmingly exhausted and I’m experiencing panic attacks. Even though logically I know I have unrealistic expectations for myself the tension inside of me continues to build and I think “not again, I can’t do this, I can’t be feeling this way because I have so much to do”. No amount of telling myself to “calm down it’s only a panic attack” helps, I can feel my heart rate increasing as my anxiety grows.

There are so many thoughts like rapid fire running through my head but it’s the feelings of self-loathing, guilt, helplessness, and hopelessness that threaten to take me over the edge. Oddly enough if it’s a beautiful day it makes me feel worse because something inside of me is telling me I should be energetic, I should soak up the sun and feel alive but I don’t want to but at the same time I do. I know it sounds crazy and I wish I could get out of my head but I’m so tired and so incredibly sad. What’s worse is knowing I’m a fighter but I feel so weak, so depleted.

I try to latch onto those past trials I’ve overcome but it’s just too much and I just want to stop thinking and only sleep. No matter how many times I go through these episodes they scare me because I feel like I’m losing my grip like I’m hanging by a strand and one more thing might cause it to break, cause me to break. It can last one day or five and I really don’t know what breaks the cycle and I think I don’t care I just want it to lift. Coming out of it is almost as scary as being in the midst of it because it’s a tentative thing. I mean, what if I’m not really feeling well, it’s important for me to take it slow and easy so as to not get sucked back into the vacuum that is depression.

Today I feel a little better but I’m still hesitant. Life is so fleeting it sucks that something so empty like depression and its lies can suck all the good out of me but it’s a process. I hold onto the hope that it won’t last forever and I’ll come out on the other end replenished. Life isn’t a fairytale, it isn’t the perfect pictures we post to social media, it’s messy, painful, and hard.

When I was younger I used to think my depression was the result of my childhood experiences but now I’m not so sure. The one thing I do know is it certainly wrecks havoc on the confidence I’ve so carefully honed. Or just maybe accepting depression as part of me makes me confident.

Fabulous, Functional & Frugal Fashion Tip #24

Appreciate The Beauty That Is You

Beauty is a summation of the parts working together in such a way that nothing is needed to be added, taken away or altered. ~Elio Carletti

Collage of two selfies and a standing pose with my white cane. Being true to yourself is the beginning of confidence. In a world of imitators and unjustifiable judgments, being able to wholly embrace yourself for the unique individual, you are is a powerful thing.

As a woman, there is no better feeling than when hair, makeup, and outfit all come together to create a beautifully cohesive look. As a woman who can no longer see, the feelings are identical. Lack of eyesight does not and should not prevent anyone from feeling and looking their absolute best.

Tri collage of my standing posed with my white cane.
GUESS Off-The-Shoulder Choker Top | Macy’s Style & Co. Boyfriend Jeans | Macy’s
  • Begin with a firm foundation – Know who you are, hone your strengths, and do not compromise your principles.
  • Plan, plan, plan – Plan your wardrobe, cosmetics, and accessories. Having a rough idea of your favorite ensembles and what to pair them with makes getting ready for the day easier by eliminating the “what to wear” stress.
  • Throw on some of your favorite music & let the magic begin – Never underestimate power music.
  • Remember – Underneath the shiny exterior is one of the most beautiful people in the world and no one else is like you!

What I wore:

My favorite color combination black & white in this case was a black off-shoulder long sleeve choker top, white boyfriend jeans, black high-heeled pumps. Silver tone accessories included a long crystal embellished necklace, earrings, ear cuff, cuff bracelet, and white cane.

At the end of the day we can look ever so good on the outside but if there is nothing beneath the exterior we are no more than fancy looking shells.