NEVER STOP!
It’s not where you started at that makes a difference, it’s what you do along the way. Regardless of the circumstances, I want to encourage anyone who is reading this or listening to this, wherever you’re at, no matter how downtrodden you feel, even if you have to crawl inch by inch, don’t stop. Keep going.
~Bob Cole
Editor’s Note
Bold Blind Beauty’s goal is to demystify blindness through the power of storytelling. We believe in sharing these narratives to challenge misconceptions and highlight the remarkable capabilities of blind individuals.
Today, I’m thrilled to introduce my friend Bob Cole’s story. As fellow introverts and trauma survivors, Bob’s journey resonates deeply with me, and I hold immense admiration and respect for him. His dedication to crafting his video reflects his commitment to showcasing the inherent value possessed by blind individuals.
It’s important to remember that while we explore Bob’s “Man In Motion” feature, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Bob’s story not only showcases his resilience in the face of physical challenges but also is a poignant reminder of the impact of mental health struggles and the power of perseverance.
Throughout his story, Bob candidly shares his experiences battling depression and negative thoughts, shedding light on the often overlooked intersection of physical and mental health. May serves as an opportunity to initiate conversations, break stigmas, and foster a greater understanding of mental health issues. Bob’s story is a beacon of hope, reminding us all that no matter the obstacles we face, we have the strength within us to keep moving forward.
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, let us join together in raising awareness, offering support, and championing resilience.
Watch Bob’s video or, for those who prefer reading, find the transcript below. Enjoy!
Stephanae McCoy
Editor-in-Chief, Bold Blind Beauty
Beyond Sight Magazine Cover
YouTube Video
Unveiling the Phoenix
The video zooms out, showing the eye of a phoenix. The phoenix soars into the sky and spins. The words, man in motion, are revealed.
Hello everyone, my name is Bob Cole. I first want to thank Bold Blind Beauty for giving me the privilege, the opportunity and the honor to serve as a Man in motion for the month of May, 2024.
Give a little bit of current background about myself. I work full time as an assistive technology instructor for a California based nonprofit and absolutely love my job. ] I’m involved with a wonderful woman; I wasn’t looking for love. I was kind of done with it, and then it found me. I am also a full time single dad of two very special boys who are blessings to me. They are now 12 and 14 but when I started that journey, they were only about three and five. Boy has time flown. I wasn’t always at this place though.
A Childhood Shrouded in Dysfunction
I wasn’t sure where to go with my story when I was given this opportunity, and it could be quite lengthy. People have told me that I should write a book, but my self confidence just is not there yet. So let’s just try the basics and see how this goes.
I was born in a small Ohio town in 1984. I was born with a very rare congenital visual condition known as microphthalmia. Which is a big word that essentially means that my eyes never fully developed. I was raised by a single mom who did the best that she could with myself and my other three siblings. I was the only sibling that was, like I like to say, the chosen one who had any form of visual impairment.
There weren’t a lot of resources back then, especially in a small Ohio town. But my mom did the best that she could. Unfortunately, throughout my childhood, there was a lot of dysfunction in the family. My father was very abusive and he was an alcoholic. I heard that he was different before Vietnam, but I didn’t get to know him like that. He passed away in 1990. A couple years after that, another man came into our lives and unfortunately, he was also an abusive alcoholic. There are different circumstances that take people to those places. I’m not going to judge, but It definitely causes trauma in the lives of others, of whom, paths cross with such individuals.
From Foster Care to Education
Long story as far as childhood goes, but suffice it to say that it was unfortunately instilled in my mind that I would not amount to much because of my blindness. And my mom tried to instill some sense of positive, but the men in my life, did not. As I grew older, my younger siblings and I were taken into foster care. That was a very painful situation in life, though I was surrounded with some wonderful people.
I began attending a vocational school at the beginning of foster care, which was also at the beginning of my senior year. And I entered into the study of business and computer technologies and realized that I really loved computers.
Graduated high school and began taking computer science courses at a local college. I married in 2004, moved to California in 2007, completed my associate’s degree in computer information systems. That’s another lengthy story for another day. Suffice it to say, it took a lot longer than it should have, but I finished it. I’d like to complete a bachelor’s down the road.
Navigating Parenthood & Mental Health
In 2015, I began the journey as a single parent, and despite the blindness, it took my level of independence to an all time high. As I had a choice to make either allow my kids to grow up in a box or start taking them out to parks and things like that.
We’ve had some amazing journeys. In 2019 we had the opportunity to climb some natural steps at a viewpoint at Arches National Park in Utah can be seen in this photo of my boys standing, looking out at the delicate arch.
We’ve had some awesome adventures over the years. My kids are my world. Unfortunately, I battled and still do battle with mental health, depression, and especially just the negative thoughts in my head that are often just a constant onslaught.
Professional Pursuits & Personal Growth
In 2021, I was hired at my first formal job as an assistive technology instructor. I worked at the organization for six months and later left because it was very toxic, both to the staff and to the students of the particular center. I won’t get into the details of that but I had to do what I had to do for my mental health and therefore I left.
Last September, I was actually hired at a healthy organization as an assistive technology instructor. And I have to say, I absolutely love the job. I love getting to help individuals and I love hearing those, those aha moments when they realize that there’s so much that technology can offer them. I independently study technology on a regular basis, not just assistive technology.
My story is one that is something I should have addressed that came out of the ashes. So I’ll address it now. In the background of this video, there’s an AI generated image from Meta AI of a black Phoenix rising out of flame and ash.
And the Phoenix is something that has become very significant to me over the past couple of years, because looking back through my life, there’s been a lot of ash, a lot of destruction. Now, there is beauty in ashes. You just have to find it there. But the phoenix is a symbol of rebirth; it’s a symbol of climbing up out of chaos and allowing yourself to soar into the sky.
Embracing Martial Arts & Adventure
Now, thanks to having formal employment, I’m able to do things like, as you can see in this video, I am taking a mixed martial arts class with my 12 year old son and I’ve been doing so since last September. Never would I have thought that I would have gotten back into martial arts. I was, studying Taekwondo when I was a teenager and I eventually switched over to professional wrestling school, but I regret leaving the martial arts. I am currently getting ready to test for a gold belt and my son and I are just both doing this together. It’s an absolutely amazing experience.
I ride bikes with my kids. Here in this video, you can see me riding a bike when my kids were younger I don’t have any current videos of me riding bikes though I do go out and enjoy a good bike ride just have to work out a system so that I don’t inadvertently run into something that I don’t see.
My vision leaves my left eye absolutely useless. Doesn’t even have perception of darkness. And my right eye offers me an acuity of 20 over 1000, so it’s not much. It’s like living in a colorful fog the way I describe it to people.
Life is an amazing thing. In my younger years, I unfortunately held quite a pessimistic perspective on life because it was drilled into my mind that there was not much that I’d be able to do. Slowly but surely I’m seeing how wrong that is. Things that I was told that I couldn’t do as a child because of lack of vision, I try to find ways to do now as an adult.
Life is short and the reality is it’s not the beginning at birth that is significant in the scheme of things. And it’s not the end when we leave this world. It’s about the middle. And it’s about what we do in the middle that counts the lives that we can impact that maybe no one else could. The effect of the ripple of choosing to go against the grain and the amazing impact that that can have on the lives of others.
Finding Love Amidst Adversity
Here is an image of my girlfriend, Jessica and I at the ocean, one of my favorite places. I wasn’t looking for love. I was done with relationships. And then our paths cross and I have the opportunity to get to know an amazing woman who is going through some pretty severe and quite frankly, scary medical circumstances, but the time I get to spend with her and the joy that she brings into my life and the lives of my kids that outweighs anything.
And the reality is wherever you’re at in your life right now, you might feel like you’re down in those ashes too. But just know this, you don’t have to stay there. Are there realistic limitations on life as a person with a disability? Yes, but life in and of itself is not the limiting factor.
We find what we can do and we do it to the best of our abilities. It’s about coming up out of those ashes. The ashes of depression, the ashes of a bad childhood, the ashes of chaos and soaring into the sky. Oh, and there’s beauty in those ashes. And if you’re in those actions, just know that that beauty, that’s you, and it’s time to rise and fly.
A Message of Hope & Resilience
There is so much more that I could elaborate on in regards to my story, the hopes and dreams that I have. I absolutely love my job and I love the organization with which I work. However, I do live in California and it is very expensive out here.
Someday I hope to potentially start my own assistive technology training business to be able to better support my family, but for until that time comes, I’m perfectly happy where I’m at and I do my best to make things work, to provide for my own.
Again, it’s not where you started at that makes a difference. It’s what you do along the way. Regardless of the circumstances, I want to encourage anyone who is reading this or listening to this, wherever you’re at, no matter how downtrodden you feel, even if you have to crawl inch by inch, don’t stop. Keep going.
As I said, I could add a lot more to this. I have recorded this many times. I’ve lost count. And I still feel like I don’t have this right. But, I’m going to leave you with this. There’s a symbol in mathematics called the infinity symbol. It’s essentially like a number eight turned sideways. And in mathematics, this symbol, it means never ending.
But I’d like to shed a different light on that. It’s not just never ending. Because never ending, it’s putting emphasis on the ending. When does it end? Never. But I’d like to look at it in this perspective of never stop.
Yes, there’s pain. Yes, there are tears. Yes, there are heartaches aplenty. But don’t stop.
Those are the words I’ve been telling myself for years and I still tell myself to this day Don’t stop. I hope that This has been of some help to someone out there And you’re more than welcome to reach out to me if you’d like, if ever I can be of assistance But regardless, thank you for your time and listening And I wish you all the best in your endeavors.
Bob Cole’s Bio
Bob Cole is a full-time Assistive Technology trainer and a full-time single father to two boys aged 12 and 14. He has a strong love for technology, writing, and much more. Bob strives to be a strong advocate for those who are blind or who live with other disabilities.
Connecting With Bob Cole
- Instagram: @__thatblindguy__
- LinkedIn: @BobCole
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Image Descriptions:
- The header, Beyond Sight Magazine cover, and YouTube thumbnail are identical and show Bob and his kids standing close together, smiling towards the camera. They are outdoors, with a clear sky in the background that suggests it’s either dawn or dusk due to the soft lighting. On the left is Bob’s youngest son with short, curly blonde hair, wearing a gray hoodie and a red necklace. They are slightly leaning towards Bob in the middle. Bob is wearing sunglasses, a dark cap, and a striped polo shirt. He has a light beard and mustache. On the right is Bob’s oldest son with long, straight brown hair. He is wearing a black T-shirt with a colorful anime design and camouflage pants. All three individuals appear to be enjoying the moment, evidenced by their broad smiles. Text on the cover reads “May 2024 Beyond Sight Magazine A Bold Blind Beauty Project | Bob Cole.”
- Video description: Bob describes the video throughout his story.
- This is a generative AI meme created by Bob. The image features a majestic, mythical phoenix soaring through a dramatic night sky. The phoenix resembles an eagle but is stylized with glowing, electric blue feathers, giving it an ethereal appearance. Its wings are wide spread and its head is raised proudly, with sharp, attentive eyes and a striking crest of feathers atop its head. In the background, the sky is a deep blue, illuminated by the light of a large, full moon that appears close to the horizon. The moon casts a soft, pale light that contrasts with the vivid blue of the bird. Adding to the dramatic atmosphere, a bolt of lightning forks through the sky on the right side of the image. Below the image, there is a caption that reads: “EVEN IN THE DARKEST OF NIGHTS…RISE, FLY, AND SOAR THROUGH THE STORM.” This phrase adds an inspirational tone to the scene, emphasizing themes of resilience and majesty.
- The photo shows Bob and his girlfriend taking a selfie by the sea. Bob is on the left with curly dark hair and wearing a dark gray polo shirt. He has a silver necklace with a blue and silver phoenix pendant. Bob’s girlfriend is smiling broadly, wearing glasses, and dressed in a light beige hoodie. Her hair is pulled back. Behind them, you can see the ocean and a cloudy sky. The setting appears to be a coastal area with a rocky backdrop.