The Art Of Respectful Online Relationships

abbys cornerHello Friends, Happy Friday!

Blogging, social media platforms, dating sites, and apps have drastically changed the way we interact with one another. When I was going through my Facebook feed the other day, I saw a post by a young woman who was upset over a conversation she had with a man she recently connected with and I wanted to talk about it here.

While I believe the majority of people out here have good intentions, there are some who hide behind a cloak of perceived anonymity. These people believe they can say or do as they please and they don’t care who they hurt.

Here’s the thing, you are in control of your account. You get to choose who you want to engage with, so here are a few tips to help prevent nasty encounters:

  • With so many FB accounts being cloned, it’s a good practice to search the name of a new friend request to decide if there are multiple accounts.
  • Be wary of mutual friend requests and don’t automatically assume they are legitimate.
  • Prior to accepting new friend requests, check out the person’s timeline for clues to help you decide whether to accept the request. If there is little information about the person, few if any friends or posts, but a ton of pictures of themselves it’s probably a fake account.
  • When a messaging conversations begin to go sideways go with your gut and block the person if necessary. You don’t have to put up with behavior that feels off.
  • If after accepting a friend request conversations and/or messages posted aren’t agreeable to you, delete the posts and block the person.

Safety and respect should be at the top of the list when meeting anyone online or offline and if your internal gauges are off the charts it’s better to be safe than sorry. Ultimately, if we respect ourselves we will refuse to allow others to disrespect us.

What crazy experiences have you encountered online? Please do tell. ~Abby


  1. Now in the age of social media, it is difficult to know which is real and which is fake, all sweet words doesnt mean its sugar. The best way to stay safe is to by communicating with the people you know in real life, like school, collage, work place etc

  2. I’ve seen blog posts about these types of scammers and some of them are very funny. If the amount of time scamming were spent doing worthwhile projects to benefit others we’d be in a much better place.

  3. I get those regularly. Eligible widowers of a certain age, usually. I’m always interested in how these things work, so I actually ‘friended’ one of them. As you say, they immediately move on to private messages. They’re very flexible – first he was quite religious, then not so much, same with his taste in music. His English wasn’t that great, surprising for someone who professed to be an engineer. I got bored eventually and gave up and he disappeared. I have also image-searched their profile pics, they often come up on dating sites, under different names or on scam-watch sites. I love a bit of Sherlock Holmes stuff, so when I have some spare time, I might just engage with another potential ‘suitor’ and see where it goes, so I can write a cautionary tale. So many people get scammed. It’s a real shame.

  4. Best measure I think. I don’t own those comments. They have nothing to do with me and everything to do with their makers.

  5. Sorry to hear this Robyn. Before I switched over to the WordPress Business Plan my spam was overflowing with some of the most unbelievable messages. One of them was so bad I tried to report it but had to settle for putting the addresses on the blacklist. Trying to track down the owner of the host site would have been too time-consuming. I think Askimet blocked over 61,000 spam before I made the switch. It seems like the count has started over because now it’s saying it’s blocked 3 spam. So I don’t understand how all of it works but as long as I don’t have to see it I’m good. I’ll do a cursory check every now and again to make sure legit comments aren’t being captured but the other nonsense gets delete immediately.

  6. Steph, after reading your post I took a look in my WordPress spam box. I was shocked my the vitriolic and hateful stuff I found there. Deleted immediately!

  7. I think that’s the right attitude. Social media can be such a force for good but as we’ve seen in recent times, a force for evil as well

  8. I deleted my twitter account last year because it was too time consuming. I had to increase my following on FB because of the blog/online shop but this also increased the number of people I have to block as well. I seriously struggled with accepting friends of friends requests but I do research on them before accepting and even then sometimes they don’t pan out and I have to get rid of them. You’re right though the gut seldom leads me astray.

  9. Good advice. Besides my blog, the only social media I am involved with is Facebook and Twitter (rarely on Twitter). The only friend requests I accept on Facebook are people that I actually know, or have known from school, etc. I never accept requests from strangers. I guess I am an old foggie when it comes to things like that. Following your gut is always the best advice. Those feelings are there for a reason. They have saved me on more than one occasion.

  10. I know it’s crazy isn’t it? The money ones really irritate me. I received a message from a woman I don’t know she began her conversation like we were old friends. After further investigation I found “she” was really a company. It’s so aggravating but again, I just blocked them and moved along.

    The accounts that buy friends/followers, or however they do it are equally annoying. Although I can understand why some businesses would do it I don’t agree with the practice.

    Like you’ve said, Mick, common sense and care helps to avoid a lot of this nonsense.

  11. Yes, I’ve seen many of those. What’s really irritating to me is when I find cloned accounts of people who are close to me and they have no idea that someone has taken advantage of them. Grrrrrrr. This recently happened to my 70ish aunt.

  12. Hey David!!!! 💖 It’s always so good to see you here.

    It’s a crazy world we live in but I still believe the majority of people are good souls. It’s the few though that can ruin it for everyone else for whatever reason they can conjure up. I don’t give them air time, just block them and move on. Life is too short for this nonsense.

    Hugs to you!!! 😘How are the kiddos?

  13. I’ve blocked so many I sometimes worry if there’s a limit. But honestly when people attack without provocation, just because there is something lacking in their lives, it doesn’t make sense and life is too short to give them air time.

  14. Those ones are particularly disturbing. They used to be high ranking officers in the armed forces. Recently I’ve been getting fake requests from men who look like millionaire models but they have no friends or any other photos except for themselves. I find them obnoxious.

    And the guys who go all in wanting a relationship without knowing anything about the other person are ridiculous. I’m with you in unfriending or blocking people who are rude, judgmental, etc. I actually feel kind of sorry for them that they are so miserable.

  15. Absolutely, Steph. I’ve turned down requests from accounts with 500+ friends but essentially no posts whatsoever. Clearly fake. Then a couple with messages that looked like they were paving the way for requests for money – deleted instantly. All it really needs is a little common sense and care.

  16. Great advice Steph. There are always people who live to abuse others whether it’s by sheer nastiness about something they read on your page or just the use of bad language that you don’t agree with. Whatever you don’t like usually means you’ve triggered your own warning and you should act on it. Either a them to stop whatever offends you or just block them.It’s your right to be comfortable on there, and if you happen to be the abuser then don”t be surprised if you find yourself alone.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  17. Such good advice Steph. It’s disappointing to see the kind of behaviour you describe. I’m often surprised people don’t know they can block the offender.

  18. I’ve received several weird friend requests from men who engage right away with private messages attempting to move the connection into relationship territory. I’ve learned to check and see if they have friends and legitimate posts. It they have few friends and they are all women, of course that is a huge red flag.

    It seems that online people assume they can be rude, judgmental, attacking…. ..and I just unfriendly those kind of people right away.

  19. Thanks Camie. I’ve gotten so that if I hesitate I delete the request. There’s some scary stuff out here.

  20. This is excellent advice! I agree, always follow your instinct. It if feels creepy or off in any way, it probably is.

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