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Cultivating Resilience Practice 8: Flexibility

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 HEALTH & WELLNESS

Editor’s Note:

Bold Blind Beauty is thrilled to share with you snippets from Becky Andrews’ new book “Cultivating our Resilience Workbook/Journal.” Adversity strengthens and builds resilience; Becky will share weekly practices to help us become more resilient. ~Steph

Hello All

Thanks for following along in our cultivate resilience series. Each practice can be helpful to us. Some come more naturally to us in this process. What practice are you finding the most helpful to you? What practice comes naturally to you? They are all so very helpful. I find that when we start practicing one and two regularly the rest can flow for us easier. Let’s review.  

  • Practice one: Permission to feel. Simply put, we need to allow ourselves to feel the impact of the challenge we are experiencing. The feelings are there and when we can listen to our feelings and what we need we will give space for resilience. This is a practice.
  • Practice two: Self-Compassion and self-care. These are two distinct and important practices. Self-compassion is responding to our pain with compassion. Treating ourselves as we would a friend. Self-Care is intentional practices to nurture ourselves in five areas: physical, social, mental, emotional, and spiritual.  
  • Practice three: Utilize your unique strengths. So often we find ourselves comparing ourselves and feeling like we need to navigate this time like someone else. We have within us – our unique gifts that guide us and give us strength.  Specifically, there is a test that can help us identify our strengths: VIA Character Strengths  
  • Practice four: Connection. Practice healthy boundaries and relationships. In challenging times, this reminder is essential. 
  • Practice five: Mindfulness. Savoring. Gratitude. What beautiful practices to incorporate into our lives.
  • Practice six: Take a pause and recognize the grit and determination to be navigating the challenge that is calling on you for your resilience.
  • Practice seven: Finding laughter and joy in each day. It is there and available to us even in those times of challenge.  Seek it out each day.

This leads us to practice eight: Flexibility 

Be open to generating new alternatives. Perhaps, there is another way.    

When we are being stretched, pulled, experiencing a challenge in our lives; we are often also being called upon to make changes in our lives.  

Let’s reflect on how we have been called upon to be open – to be flexible – to make changes and adjustments and look at perhaps, there is another way in the past several months as we have deal with COVID-19.  

What has that looked like for you? What changes and adjustments have you had to make? How has that perspective of being open and flexible served you during this time?  

As our flexibility increases, our resilience can increase.   

Is there a situation you have been leaning into as a negative  experience?  

How can you possibly begin to reframe it as an experience of growth instead? 

When we are able to look at a situation with an open mind and some flexibility our resilience increases. The phrase: Perhaps, there is another way, can begin to introduce a sense of openness or additional options into our thinking. We begin to generate alternatives to the situation. During this time, I have been struck by the many alternative ways people have found to connect to one another, to do their work from home, to offer support to one another. It’s such an example of Perhaps, there is another way.   

On a personal note, I recall very well a morning on our front porch when I was grieving the loss of my eyesight. I could no longer hop in the car to run the errand I wanted to do that morning. I sat on the porch feeling sad. I allowed myself to have those feelings and then I noted a shift. Perhaps, there was another way. Perhaps it was time to pull out the cane that I had recently had training. Perhaps, it could be an adventure to take the kids on the bus to go visit dad.  Perhaps there was another way. I decided to be proactive and open to growth as I was facing vision loss. Retinitis Pigmentosa could be my teacher, perhaps. I stood up and chose openness, learning, and bravery as tools to help me embrace my life. 

In time, we can all see our challenges as opportunities to grow and learn new ways to approach life. We can even view our obstacles as a chance to be proactive when we invite our challenges to be our teachers.  

What lessons have you learned from your personal challenge?

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What ways have you practiced flexibility or looked at a situation with the perspective of ‘perhaps there is another way’?

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Take a pause.  What practices are helping you thus far.  Do you need to go back and review any of our practices thus far?  Do you want to do more reading on any of the practices thus far?  Have you been sharing with someone else?  Having someone else on our journey can be helpful.  

Practice being open and flexible and seeing what you need to do to help in your journey.  

When you feel stuck, say to yourself – perhaps there is another way and notice what insight comes up for you.  Allow yourself the feelings, the compassion to not want to do it in another way, the 

This phrase has helped me immensely in my resilient journey.  The word perhaps invites us to simply look at options.  It helps us to see that no matter what the situation we have options to choose from.  I like the phrase because its gentle.  Its not forced.  Its an invitation to look upon the situation and ask ourselves Is there another way?  At times we may say, not ready to do that another way yet.  I need to stop, pause and grieve for this loss.  Then, in time, we will feel a sense of openness and willingness to look at further options.  

Perhaps, there is another way.  

Share your experiences.  Do you have a phrase that has helped you during those times of being stretched and faced with challenges. 

Flexibility is the key to stability. 

~John Wooden

About The Author:

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Becky Andrews

Becky Andrews is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Small Business Owner – Resilient Solutions, Inc, and founder of the Daring to Own Your Story ™ Retreats. She is also the author of Look up, move forward – her memoir of Losing her eyesight and finding her vision.  

You can follow her at:

Workbook: 

Cultivating our Resilience Workbook/Journal will be out Fall 2020. Email Becky at becky.lpc@gmail.com to be on the waiting list or preorder.

Image Descriptions:

  • Header: Photo of a ballerina’s legs on pointe. One foot has a pointe ballet slipper and the other has on a sneaker on tiptoe.
  • Becky is sitting on outdoor steps next to her guide dog, Georgie, a gorgeous yellow lab.