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Delight In Your Feminity

Description is on body of post.Pictures are great but they don’t always tell the whole story. For many of us on social media our pictures tell the story we want to convey which can be in stark contrast to our reality.

As an advocate working to change perceptions on blindness and sight loss, my pictures attempt to show confidence from a blind perspective. What they don’t show is my insecurity but that’s okay because I know who I am and I don’t want to come across as someone I am not.

I’m not perfect, far from it. I laugh at my foibles, quirks, and even the changes in my body I cannot control. I love the uplifting feeling that takes place when I throw on some hair, do nakeup, and get dressed to face the world but make no mistake I am the same person before and after. I love being feminine and encourage others who want to feel the same way to do so despite what life throws your way.

Delight in your femininity. Love you. Validate you. Trust you. As you begin each day remind yourself that you are enough. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and reject the notion that you have to fit in. Be courageous, be authentic, know your worth. ~Steph

Image: Tri collage of me posing in front of my counter wearing black leggings, three-quarter dolman sleeve top looks sort of gray, orange pointed toe slingback flats, black obi belt, black leather short necklace with a silver pendant, and silver drop earrings.

Have a great Monday!!

#whitecane #confidence #independence #blindness #blindnessawarenss

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When Confidence Wanes

“I am confident because I can admit who I am, what I’ve done, and love myself for who I’ve become.”

For close to 50 years I’ve lived with chronic depression. Being medicated for many of these years I don’t have a point of reference for what “normal” really feels like yet “normal” is the one thing just beyond my grasp and the one thing in life I’ve desired most.

Many might think that when you live with a chronic illness for so long it would get easier but for me, it’s just different. I’ve only learned within the past few years to identify some of the triggers which send me into a downward spiral.

It typically begins with nothing; like something doesn’t feel quite right but I can’t articulate what’s wrong. The more I try to figure out what’s causing my angst the more apprehensive I become. This immense pressure begins spreading throughout my chest making it almost impossible to do the simplest of daily tasks like getting up, making the bed, taking a shower, getting dressed, heck, even breathing is difficult because I’m hyper aware yet paralyzed.

I feel overwhelmingly exhausted and I’m experiencing panic attacks. Even though logically I know I have unrealistic expectations for myself the tension inside of me continues to build and I think “not again, I can’t do this, I can’t be feeling this way because I have so much to do”. No amount of telling myself to “calm down it’s only a panic attack” helps, I can feel my heart rate increasing as my anxiety grows.

There are so many thoughts like rapid fire running through my head but it’s the feelings of self-loathing, guilt, helplessness, and hopelessness that threaten to take me over the edge. Oddly enough if it’s a beautiful day it makes me feel worse because something inside of me is telling me I should be energetic, I should soak up the sun and feel alive but I don’t want to but at the same time I do. I know it sounds crazy and I wish I could get out of my head but I’m so tired and so incredibly sad. What’s worse is knowing I’m a fighter but I feel so weak, so depleted.

I try to latch onto those past trials I’ve overcome but it’s just too much and I just want to stop thinking and only sleep. No matter how many times I go through these episodes they scare me because I feel like I’m losing my grip like I’m hanging by a strand and one more thing might cause it to break, cause me to break. It can last one day or five and I really don’t know what breaks the cycle and I think I don’t care I just want it to lift. Coming out of it is almost as scary as being in the midst of it because it’s a tentative thing. I mean, what if I’m not really feeling well, it’s important for me to take it slow and easy so as to not get sucked back into the vacuum that is depression.

Today I feel a little better but I’m still hesitant. Life is so fleeting it sucks that something so empty like depression and its lies can suck all the good out of me but it’s a process. I hold onto the hope that it won’t last forever and I’ll come out on the other end replenished. Life isn’t a fairytale, it isn’t the perfect pictures we post to social media, it’s messy, painful, and hard.

When I was younger I used to think my depression was the result of my childhood experiences but now I’m not so sure. The one thing I do know is it certainly wrecks havoc on the confidence I’ve so carefully honed. Or just maybe accepting depression as part of me makes me confident.

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A Lil’ Inspiration #30

Want To Be Outstanding? Wear Confidence

“It’s not about what size you wear. It’s about how you wear your size.”

Abigail (Abby) is in the background of the text with her white cane and handbag.

You can be a size 2 and be totally uncomfortable in the clothes you wear. Likewise, you can be a size 22 and be completely at ease in your attire.

Being comfortable in your skin is the first step to confidence. Let your confidence be the determining factor in how you present yourself to the world. When you are able to confidently let your true self shine through, appearance becomes secondary.

Have a nice Thursday!!

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Fabulous, Functional & Frugal Fashion Tip #14

“Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a KICK-ASS red lipstick.” ~Gwyneth Paltrow

kick-ass-lipstickNothing says confidence like a red lip. Red is bold, fiery, strength, power, determination, passion, desire, and love.

For those of us who require mobility devices a question that comes to mind might be “geez I get enough attention by using my white cane why do I need more?” While it could be a valid point there’s world of difference between the curious stares brought about from using the tools we need to live independently and the admiration that comes from the confidence that says “I feel good about myself, I feel beautiful.”

Today’s Tip: For an immediate confidence booster go with a red lip. Don’t wear makeup? No worries, just do you! Always remember, “when we feel good we look good.”

Image: Abigail (Abby) is in the background of the text with her white cane and handbag along with a bright red kiss against a black background.

Have a relaxing Sunday!