My albinism doesn’t define me, but it sure makes me who I am. It is because of my albinism that I have become an incredible problem-solver and out-of-the-box thinker.
~Antonia Lliteras Espinosa
My Journey to Becoming Fully Me Albinism & All
I was born with albinism a rare genetic condition, which affects about one in 20,000 individuals in the United States. Albinism is the lack of pigment in hair, skin, and eyes. The type of albinism I have means I have no pigment or melanin in my body. However, there are other types where some melanin is present. Persons with albinism are visually impaired and often fall under the legally blind category. I am legally blind and have been since birth.
Growing up I was very aware that I was different, even so, I had a happy childhood. My family was incredibly accepting and they were fierce advocates on my behalf. I always had everything I needed in school and my parents pushed me to become my own advocate. Self-advocacy began from a very young age and for that, I am ever so grateful.
I grew up in Spain where most people have brunette or black hair, dark eyes, and olive skin. Standing out from the crowd, I was often teased by my peers because of my appearance. However, since I grew up in a small town, my appearance became normal and my classmates moved on to the next thing.
Belonging to O.N.C.E., Spain’s equivalent to the National Federation for the Blind (NFB), was a great resource for me and my family. I went to summer camp with other visually impaired kids where we participated in sports and other fun activities. They also provided orientation and mobility ( O&M ) training and any other school or in-home support I needed. Since there weren’t any organizations specifically dedicated to persons with albinism in Spain, this was the best option. Through O.N.C.E. I met a handful of kids with albinism and so I knew I wasn’t the only one.
Smoothing The Way By Assimilation
As I got older, I went to college abroad and lost touch with the blind and visually impaired community. It wasn’t a choice, it was just life.
So, during my adult formative years, I didn’t have role models who used any sort of accommodations. Not having anyone to compare notes with; I didn’t miss it, I was getting by. Even though I was legally blind, I was proud of being able to do everything everyone else did. The only accommodation I had were magnifiers to read. I never asked for special treatment in or out of class. Looking back at those years I marvel at how I got myself through graduate school! I accepted my albinism but didn’t accept that my disability might mean I have to do things a little differently.
When I started working I never disclosed my visual impairment. In addition, I worked really hard to minimize what it meant for me on a daily basis. I’m an incredibly organized person who gets anxiety over going to new places. As much as I could, I would map out routes days in advance. Then I’d even go on a test run the day before I had to be there, just to be sure I would find the location. Similarly, networking events were torture. Sure, it’s partly because I am an introvert, but I had a terrible time remembering people’s faces or recognizing them!
Accepting Albinism Through Social Media
A couple of years ago after joining a few albinism groups on Facebook, I became enlightened. A lot of the quirks I thought were part of my personality, I discovered were probably due to my low vision. I found a lot of visually impaired people get anxious when going to new places; many don’t like networking events. And for me, it is no wonder I can’t remember or recognize people—I cannot see them!
These online communities quickly became a place of solace, soul searching, and self-growth. I began to see very successful professionals use assistive technology. Also, I began to accept my visual impairment as a strength and no longer viewed it as a weakness. My albinism doesn’t define me, but it sure makes me who I am. It is because of my albinism that I have become an incredible problem-solver and out-of-the-box thinker. I tapped into the strength of the kid who was once such a fierce self-advocate. I knew I could become a better worker and person if I accepted doing things a little differently. Sometimes, I may need help but I realized that everybody has shortcomings and that we all need help at times.
Embracing Me Is Okay
When I began using a white cane it was my biggest moment of growth. It was both one of the best and one of the hardest decisions of my life. I was putting my disability on display for everyone to see, I was showing everyone what, for so many years, I considered my biggest weakness. I also questioned whether I truly needed it or not. With a lot of support along the way, I have found my cane to be so wonderful, in more ways than I expected.
When I received cane training, I spent quite a bit of time with other blind and visually impaired individuals. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders! I began thinking about my journey and my struggle to come to terms with my blindness. Part of this process was understanding what it meant for me in my daily life. This is what triggered me to start blogging about being legally blind and still live a fulfilling life.
I want to show that my blindness is not my weakness, but an asset. While I can’t tell younger me what I know now, I hope my words will show other young people it is okay to be blind. It’s okay to talk about their disability and to seek help when they need it. They aren’t weak because of their visual impairment, they are strong in spite of it.
Connecting With Antonia On Social Media:
- Website: Blindmillennial.blogspot.com
- Facebook/Instagram: @blindmillennial
- Email: blindmillennial@gmail.com
My Journey To Becoming Fully Me Featured Image Description:
Antonia with her crown of white/blond hair is posing outdoors with her white cane. She is broadly smiling as she poses confidently with her white cane that has a pink handle. Wearing a faux wrap light-colored top with jeans and adorable pointed flats Antonia is a beauty. Her jeans are accented with a pink bouquet of roses on the upper right hip.
Additional Images:
- Baby Antonia is so adorable sitting on the floor playing with a toy. In this photo, she is dressed in a red top with green trim, white pants, green socks, and dark shoes.
- Antonia is posing in her cap and gown holding a bouquet of pink roses. She has on sunnies and her white dress with black polka dots can be seen with dressy black flats.