Goodbye Granny Panties

A black and white photo of a girl blowing a kiss, viewed from slightly side on.

Beauty Buzz & Blog Biz

Editor’s Note:

Hi Everyone, I feel like I’m so off my game because of the delay in getting my first blog post of the year out to you. An extremely bad case of writer’s block, hesitancy in rejoining social media, and feeling a bit uncertain all contributed to this delay. But here we are “Goodbye Granny Panties.”

Before I get into today’s topic I wanted to quickly mention a few updates. Our Bold Blind Beauty regularly scheduled Beyond Sight Magazine features will begin again in February. This year the focus will be on youth. Additionally, we have several new contributors who’ve joined our team and you can check them out HERE.

In other news, Bold Blind Beauty ON AIR is getting its feet wet in the video podcasting arena. Bold Blind Beauty adopted the acronym AIR (Accessibility, Inclusion, and Representation) because it’s essential for people with disabilities. People with disabilities need Accessibility, Inclusion, and Representation to survive and to thrive. Bold Blind Beauty ON AIR is clearing the air for more AIR. We hope to drop the first edition of our podcast near the end of January.

I think I’ve covered all our updates so let’s dive into granny panties. ~Steph

Granny Panties & New Year Resolutions

Resolutions: So many will fail; NOT because they didn’t set goals, but because they didn’t set behaviors.

~Steve Maraboli
Goodbye Granny Panties image of an attractive African American woman blowing a kiss
Blowing a kiss

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines granny panties as follows:

Women’s underpants having a high waist and low-cut legs. “I am no underwear aficionado, but it doesn’t take a professional to gauge the well-established sentiment against granny panties.” ~Melodi Erdogan

So what do granny panties have to do with the New Year’s Resolutions and why do they have such a bum rap? The answer came to me while thinking about my life as I went through my underwear drawer. In examining the drawer’s contents, it dawned on me that since my divorce I’ve accepted an unflattering pattern of behavior.

In 2020, I spent a lot of time thinking about how and why we label people because of our differences. I wanted to understand why our value as humans relies so heavily on the labels assigned to us. Why do we classify people who are different as second class citizens who aren’t afforded the same rights as others? Even worse, what happens to a person when they begin to internalize the negative assumptions others place on them?

While I personally know what it’s like being labeled, aging and living with an acquired disability can sometimes feel burdensome. Understanding that society has a tendency to view those who are older as less valuable is sobering. Women, in particular, are vilified simply because we still draw breath after a certain age. This brings me back to the idea of granny panties and how I view myself as a woman. Before my divorce I was sensual, and after? Well, not so much.

The Dilemma on Accepting Change & Disability

If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

~Maya Angelou

The simple act of making a resolution is at the heart of change however a decision without action is mute. Upon closely examining the contents of my underwear drawer I realized I’d become complacent. While I found comfort with some of my granny panties, through closer inspection I recognized a greater issue. I failed to understand that just because I chose to be single didn’t mean I had to give up my sensuality. Reflection helped me to see how I might move forward.

My ex-husband and I split after my final diagnosis of legal blindness. I asked for a divorce because I believed I could do better by myself—and beyond my wildest dreams, I succeeded.

Open spiral note pad with a pen and the words "if you change nothing, nothing will change."
Change

One of the first things I did was move into a beautiful new apartment with new furnishings. Then I inventoried my personal belongings among them was my sexy lingerie which I promptly trashed. Looking back now I see that I tied my sensual identity to my relationship as opposed to owning it for myself.

In the years since my divorce, I’ve been so anti-relationship I even banished all thoughts of sensuality. Heck, I was so ecstatic with my freedom post-divorce the very thought of dating was a no-go. While I know most of this was because of my trust issues there were other hidden considerations:

  • With my acquired disability of legal blindness, how could I manage a dating/relationship situation?
  • Would a new partner try to take advantage of me because of my disability?
  • Could I be confident enough to fully show up within an intimate context of a relationship?
  • Would my new partner feel sorry for me because of my disability?
  • How could I let myself be vulnerable while being disabled within a relationship?

Exploring Sensuality Through a Sense of Wonder

As the clock winds down towards each year’s end, we eagerly anticipate the coming of a brand new slate. Hope replaces complacency with the dawning of a new year. Yet for me, I felt like I was in a real pickle because I knew I needed to make some changes but how? How could I justify some of the changes I felt needed without compromising my values? So I did what comes naturally for me—research.

So what was I looking for, replacements for my granny panties? Sorta kinda but sensuality to me is not only a frame of mind but it resides in my surroundings. My bedroom, for example, I referred to it as an oasis but in reality, it was more likely a shell of a dorm room. The most exciting feature in my room was my red accent wall which I LOVE!!

The Research

The problem wasn’t so much my bedroom but rather how I settled because of minimalism (a personal value). Minimalism aside, my initial research focused on ways to create an atmosphere that stimulated my senses. Desiring a welcoming refuge, I looked at lighting, plants, candles, music, shea butter, and more.

Articles from Cosmopolitan, InStyle, OMGyes, Good Housekeeping, and The Oprah Magazine, to name a few helped me form a plan. The article in Oprah Magazine led me to my new comfy, cozy, and oh so soft robe plush hooded robe. Then I found this really cool hanging “lacy cutout star paper lantern” that would be perfect for my new reading nook.

Rear shot of a woman wearing a brown shirt carrying a black leather bag standing in front of library books.
Research

Did you know plants improve life? Well, my research confirmed that plants not only sustain life and they even help to eliminate toxins from the air. Good Housekeeping helped me find plants suitable for my bedroom space and I’m now ready to become a plant parent. Adding to the ambiance will of course require the intoxicating fragrance of a volcano candle. I stumbled upon this one, Capri Blue Volcano Mercury Glass Jar Candle, online at Anthropologie so I hope it delivers. A simple voice command to my Echo Dot brings my room to life with soothing music.

A Review:

Getting back to granny panties and rediscovering my sensuality put me on an interesting path I’d never considered. Since I wanted to refresh my underwear drawer I came across a subscription service that I thought would fit the bill. Adore Me, a women’s underwear company, seemed like a logical place to start. I completed my style profile including my measurements, paid my $20 styling fee then waited for my box to arrive.

It wasn’t until I received my box last weekend that I felt a little off but couldn’t put my finger on the issue. There were five items in my package: 2 bra/underwear sets, and 1 knit slip. Each item was packaged in its own see-through sealed plastic bag. As I opened the bags it hit me “how do they handle previously tried on underwear?”

I thought everything I received was really cute, especially the lacy black and pink bra/underwear set. However, I wasn’t satisfied with the fit of the bras or slip. Trying on the underwear wasn’t an option because I had no way of knowing whether it was previously tried on. So I repacked, returned everything, and canceled my subscription.

Customer review concept. A laptop keyboard with 5 golden stars in front of it on an orange background.
Customer Review Concept

While I can see the value in the service Adore Me provides to its clientele for me personally it didn’t work out. Even so, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt so I reached out to the company. In my inquiry I asked two things:

  1. How do they handle previously worn (tried on) panties
  2. If they work with people within the disability community

This is the response I received about the panties: “Each product has its own safeguard. You’ll notice panties have a plastic liner that if tampered with, will not be eligible for exchange.”

The answer to my second question was that the company will respond with expanded and improved services based on consumer’s needs. Would I recommend the Elite Box subscription to a friend or colleague? I would however I’d caution them to ensure they are receiving products per the company’s safety protocols. Also, for friends living with disabilities I would urge them to contact the company to let them know their needs. Amplifying our voices increases the likelihood of inclusive changes being implemented.

Moral of the Story

As you’ve probably gathered this article was less about granny panties and more about acceptance. All of us are multi-faceted people and growth can only happen when we open to change. When we are stuck in a rut our sense of wonder becomes stunted and we can become apathetic.

Apathy is a lonely and to some degree a very dark place to reside. There’s nothing quite like experiencing life through the symphony of our senses. Life can be hard and painful yet at the same time feeling the pain is a reminder that we are alive.

When I went through my underwear drawer I was reminded of a time where I allowed myself to feel. Biologically I’m getting older and my body doesn’t react the same way it did when I was younger. But, my age or any other label associated with me has nothing to do with my value as a person. As long as I’m living my life to the best of my ability without harming others why should labels matter? But the most pressing question is will I say goodbye to my granny panties?

What are your thoughts?

Image Descriptions:

  • The header is a black and white closeup photo of a girl blowing a kiss, viewed from slightly side-on.
  • Blowing a kiss is a close-up color photo of an attractive African American woman blowing a kiss.
  • Research: Rear shot of a woman wearing a brown shirt carrying a black leather bag standing in front of library books.
  • Change: Open spiral note pad with a pen and the words “if you change nothing, nothing will change.”
  • Customer review concept: A laptop keyboard with 5 golden stars in front of it on an orange background.

6 Comments

  1. Hi Wendy, it’s always so good to hear from you! Yeah, I’m intentionally taking it a little slower this year and going to be more mindful about only putting energy into projects that fuel me. I’m so grateful that since we now have 10 regular contributors it takes a huge amount of strain off me and I don’t feel as anxious. How are you Wendy?

  2. Hi Wendy, it’s always so good to see you here, thank you for your kind comment. Yeah, I feel so fortunate to have a team of contributors now to help out. I’ve definitely noticed a change in how I process information which also influences how I write as well.

  3. You’re not the only one Steph. I had every intention of starting the year with a blog post and look where i am! I’ll give myself by this weekend and now that Ive made a promise for the world to see, I WILL have to do so. Lol! You’ve done it so take a bow my friend — applauding you! 👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻🤗

  4. I’m glad you’ve found a way to move into honoring your style of dressing for YOU! As I’ve shared before, I like clothes that are comfortable and fun, so cotton underwear in fun colors or prints are fine for me, and it doesn’t matter to me whether my bra matches or not. I don’t know whether that would change much when I’m in a relationship or not….probably not 🙂

  5. Katelon, I love what you’ve said here. When I was younger I tried wearing thongs but always felt extemely uncomfortable in them and honestly not sensual at all. Being comfortable and choosing those things that represent who we are is authentic. I love the idea and feel of wearing sexy undergarments for me and no longer feel like I have to wait for a partner to be seen. Years ago I said in jest something to the effect that I would know that I truly made it when all my panties and bras match. While part of me likes this idea the other more practical side would be happy with just a very small collection of interchangeable matching sets. What I’m going for here is to feel beautiful under my clothes, labels be damned. I recently finished reading the book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*CK” it gave me some food for thought as well.

  6. I understand what you are saying about underwear. Personally, I don’t like labels. If a woman is more comfortable and feels that “granny panties” fit her better and are more comfortable, why should they carry the derogatory label that shames a woman that is older? Just like “mom jeans”, or “dad jeans”? I can wear hip hugger underwear and jeans but then get tired of always yanking at them to pull them up. And forget thong underwear which just seems very uncomfortable. I would think that getting back to sensuality includes wearing what is comfortable, what supports your senses and what you desire to feel…not just about yourself but on you. Just as you are expanding your preferences of what you want in your room that fully supports you and enlivens your senses, I would think choosing underwear would be the same. It always bothered me that in order to attract a romantic partner we are told what we should and should not wear. Feeling sensual to me would mean I would be supporting my authenticity and what makes ME feel good, rather than whether it appeals to someone else or not.

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