Confidence And Beauty Found In Insecurity

Confidence And Beauty Found In Insecurity

“Beauty is the opposite of perfection–it’s about confidence, charisma, and character.” ~Unknown

The Plan

Confidence and beauty, or rather how we are perceived was the plan. I was going to talk about it from three perspectives:

  • How we see ourselves
  • How others see us
  • How we want to be seen by others

Yet as I sat with fingers poised above the keyboard nothing, absolutely nothing came to me.

The Early Years

Standing in front of my counter with my white cane. The full description of what I'm wearing in all of the photos is at the end of the post.

I wanted to write about how as a child I didn’t fit in and wanted to be like everyone else.

I was gonna write about my insecurity of growing up poor.

I was gonna write about valuing secrets when you come from a dysfunctional background. You learn early on to put on a mask because you can’t let people know about your home life.

Young Adulthood

I wanted to write about the lines I would not cross. The lines I chose to cross sickened me as it was contrary to my character.

I was gonna write about how having children of my own gave me the strength to fight. To fight for them, to fight for my integrity, to fight for myself. To become me.

I wanted to write about how it’s not my concern when someone prejudges me. It’s theirs, they can have at it.

I was gonna write about how the word ‘label’ is just a word. Ultimately we are the ones who ‘choose’ to give this word power, we can choose differently.

Rear view standing at the counter with my white cane.

For far too long I strived to be perfect, I failed miserably. I was overly concerned with the viewpoint of others and how they perceived me.

Confidence is an on-going battle of accepting my quirks, flaws, and insecurities. Beauty is not perfection. Beauty, real beauty embraces the whole person; our actions and character are in synch.

What I wore description:

  • Winter white dress pants
  • Light gold lamé long-sleeve tunic top (mid-thigh length) with a light-colored tank underneath. A nice detail is a slit at the wrist of the sleeves.
  • Long (just above the knee) cream-colored loopy tasseled sweater vest. The loops are more like individual tassels covering the entire front of the vest.
  • Navy ankle boots – three-inch chunky heels with a silver zipper on the front of the boot.
  • Jewelry – chain drop earrings with rhinestone ends, pendant fringe necklace with several rhinestones immediately above the fringe, cut-out pavé open bangle.

Published by Stephanae

👩🏾‍🦯 | INTJ | HSP | Collector of knowledge | Alpaca Fanatic “If I stop to kick every barking dog, I am not going to get where I'm going.” ~Jackie Joyner-Kersee Hi, I'm Steph! I'm a highly sensitive proud introvert and a recovering people-pleaser. These traits or quirks used to bother me because I always felt out of place until I began a recent process of self-acceptance. While I'm still a work in progress, I view my quirks as my superpowers and am grateful that they contribute to who I am today.

60 thoughts on “Confidence And Beauty Found In Insecurity

  1. Yes to some it is and I think part of it could be partly due to their interest. For example those who are artists, even though they can’t see, have an understanding how color impacts the world around us. I have one friend who does all kinds of fancy needle work and crafty stuff and so color was important to her because she wanted a good outcome with her projects.

  2. Robyn please don’t feel that you were thoughtless and insensitive, you weren’t. Color is a part of our worldly experience and we are drawn to certain colors and not others. Some people who are totally blind can be touchy about color and other visual references but this doesn’t apply to all blind people. I have friends who were born without sight and they’ve told me that color is important when needing to coordinate clothing and such but even when decorating it’s considered. With the technology that we have today many people with sight impairment make use of color identifiers to help them.

  3. Nice Stephanae..and for someone who had writers block, your thoughts on what you were going to write came shining through to a lot of wisdom. You look beautiful in your photo. Hang in there and keep keeping on your way to be a great writer.
    By the way I like your name because it is so different.

  4. Nice Stephanae..and for someone who had writers block, your thoughts on what you were going to write came shining through to a lot of wisdom. You look beautiful in th as you photo. Hang in there and keep keeping on your way to be a great writer.
    By the way I like your name because it is so different.

  5. You know, I am mortified to realise how little I considered the comment I made. I was thoughtless and insensitive to the colourless world of those without sight. I apologise Stephanae

  6. I was going to just “like”, but I decided to let you know just how powerful and inspiring this post is and you look totally amazing. From what I can see, Black is not your only color. Thanks for coloring our world.

  7. Hi Robyn, there’s a whole science behind color and honestly it’s above my head but I’ve always been fascinated with how color affects our mood, etc. Before I began having vision issues I hadn’t considered color and sight. For people who have never been able to see color is an abstract theory and one of those things that I refer to as “you don’t know, what you don’t know.” We can use metaphors but still if you haven’t experienced what color is it’s difficult to wrap your head around it.

  8. Nothing wrong with going with your instincts. I wonder what determines our colour preferences. I mean besides fashions. Why are we drawn to some colours and not others?

  9. Thank you for such a sweet comment Robyn. In the summer I tend toward lighter colors but when given the choice I more frequently than not gravitate to black, just can’t seem to help myself.

  10. This is a heart-felt post Steph. Like you, the sentiments it expresses are elegant and full of grace. You should wear light colours more often – they suit you.

  11. Denise, thank you so very much for your kind remarks. I struggled with writing it but in the end just had to let it come from my hear. It means a lot to know that what I’m sharing is appreciated.

  12. For someone who can’t remember what she wanted to say; WOW!! You said everything you wanted to say. No explanations just topics. I think this says it all. Also I loved the outfit.

  13. Stephanae you are a beautiful woman!! I so like you dressed in black, but winter white!!! Wow! Your post kept me captivated by your honesty, truth and heartfelt life lessons. Thank you for sharing, and as one of the previous neighbors commented, you hit all the marks of a fantastic post!! blessings friend, denise

  14. Funny you should mention Celine b/c that song was buzzing around my head when I wrote that line even though the song annoys the heck out of me. Thank you for the compliments <3

  15. You’re funny! I imagined Celine Dion singing at your last line. My white clothes are disciplined. They know what’s good for them. (The other colours, though). You’re so fashionable and I love complimenting beautiful, brainy women who can dress!!!!

  16. I could just imagine hearing this dialog. White on white is fabulous but only when you don’t stain as I am apt to do which is probably one of the reasons I seldom wear it but I do adore the look. I had these pants for years but the original sweater I got to wear with them didn’t work as I imagined. So glad I found these two pieces b/c I’d almost given up hope. Now my life can go on. 😉

  17. I must say that when I tried this white on white in 2012, I thought I was awesome but Neighbourhood Watch informed me that I was “fashionable.” I was like, say what now? The things women say. I don’t want to see anyone leaving the house looking less than fabulous. Best regards. xo

  18. Great post. You captured those “passing strangers” after all.
    Passing strangers? My description of those great thought that are there and then gone. Love the ensemble by the way

  19. For someone whose thoughts allegedly escaped her I think this post turned out pretty well Steph. I had one of those mini-lack-o-confidence moments just today and, like you suggested, re-calibrated and got it back together. Speaking of together that ensemble is “together.” Very stylish…just like the post. 🙂

  20. Your welcome, Steph. Confidence can be a bit flighty, but it’s so important when pressing on with our lives. So many things can rise up to damage it on a daily basis. It’s nice to be reminded, that although it can be damaged, it can also be reclaimed. ‘o)

  21. I don’t know if we are dysfunctional anymore though, as many of us have healed from those experiences and are now choosing authenticity and self love.

  22. Hi Katelon, how are you? Thank you for coming by. It is awful and unfortunately so many of us can relate to this, which has led me to the conclusion that many more of us are dysfunctional.

  23. Stephanae, there are a number of points that I think many of us have wrestled with in this. I think if any of this comes back to memory I’d follow through and post it. I think it will prove instructive for many of us as nice reminders. ‘o)

  24. Thank you Khaya!! I was so happy when I scored the vest and the sweater. They were both on sale and as soon as I put both pieces together in my mind’s eye I could see them with the pants. The fact that I got them so cheap only increased my joy. I rarely get to the actual store anymore but on this particular day I was out with my son and he wanted to stop in to check out something unfortunately for him he couldn’t find anything.

  25. A powerful and heartfelt post Steph! Love the outfit too, H&M does have some lovely stuff.

  26. There is not a cowardly bone in your body! Being afraid of creepy-crawlies is normal. I don’t particularly care for spiders….but the thing that really creeps me out is those flying palmetto bugs in Florida. I would rather eat a spider than even look at one of those things!

  27. You’re gonna give me a big head. Don’t know how I can be a warrior and a coward at the same time but I guess it depends on what we’re talking about lol. When it comes to people who can’t defend themselves, I’m there mainly with paper and pen ready to fight an intellectual war. But on the other hand if we’re talking snakes, worms or other creepy crawlies I’m outta here – total and complete coward lol.

  28. Well…you better get on it girl! I nominated you for another one! Take your time….there’s no expiration date. LOL. I just so enjoy your posts and your strength….you are indeed a warrior!

  29. Hey Laurel, Thank you for stopping. I haven’t forgotten about the award. Been working on my online store and losing my mind a little each day but it will come to life. And I will be stopping by your way today.

  30. Sounds like those thoughts came alive after all! Great post, Stephanae…and great pictures! I see Abigail is right by your side…
    I understand about the “mask.” I’ve been wearing one all my life. Someday, I hope to burn it and cast the ashes to the wind.

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