HEALTH & WELLNESS
Bold Blind Beauty is thrilled to share with you snippets from Becky Andrews’ new book “Cultivating our Resilience Workbook/Journal.” Adversity strengthens and builds resilience; Becky will share weekly practices to help us become more resilient. ~Steph
Sending my love as I take a pause to write this next post. We are all being stretched at this time in so many different ways both collectively and individually. It is a time of cultivating our resilience. As we reflect back on the practices we’ve discussed and how they can help us during this time.
- Practice one – give yourself permission to feel. Feelings have one ambition to be felt. I appreciate Dr. Mark Brackett’s book: Permission to Feel. He gives us the guideline: RULER
- R = recognize emotion;
- U = understand emotion;
- L = Label the emotion;
- E = express emotion;
- R = regulate emotion.
So much more we can talk about on the power of honoring our emotions and then choosing healthy actions to support us in our journey. Take a pause and listen to your feelings and what you need at this time. I know my feelings have been all over the place this week. I have felt such grief and loss, a deep sense of self-awareness as I am learning more how to show up; gratitude; uncertainty; calm; anxiety … What a time of so many emotions!
- Which leads us to our second practice we talked about that of Self Compassion. Be compassionate to yourself as you would to someone else. Look at what you are experiencing right now with compassion.
- Our third practice was to recognize and utilize our strengths. Oh, how I love this area and could go on and on! If you haven’t yet, take the test at www.viacharacter.org. Remember your top signature strengths are what will help you navigate a challenging time. They are our go-to that is effortless, energizing, and essential. I reflect on that last one. They are essential. Even in our challenging times – we so need to be able to utilize that strength.
- Then last week we talked about Practice four – Boundaries. A gentle reminder that we need to step back. To set boundaries. To say no. To say yes to what we need.
Practice 5: Mindfulness
Today practice five is some of my favorites. The practices of Mindfulness: Savor, Gratitude Visit. They come from work as a positive psychology life coach and my learning from this field that I find so helpful.
is that awareness of the present moment with acceptance/curiosity – not judgment. Mindfulness can be practiced at any moment of the day. It is simply bringing awareness to the activity. It invites us to notice what is happening while it is happening.
When we are mindful, we are able to be aware of our internal narrative and not get lost in it. If we are mindful of our struggling, we are able to attend to it and respond with compassion.
Mindfulness asks – What am I experiencing right now? Upon which Self-compassion can ask, What do I need right now?
Incorporating a practice of even 10 minutes of mindfulness in the day can be such a cultivating resilience practice. This can be done while you are walking, eating, meditating, driving, or simply taking a pause.
Mindfulness can increase our resilience by enhancing our self awareness/insight, improving our mood, helping us to decrease anxiety and depression, improvements of physical health, enhanced ability to deal with chronic health conditions, improved interpersonal connections, other ways it has helped you: _______________________________
Practice for this Week:
Mindful eating: Take time to focus and be fully present / mindful as you are eating.
Mindful breathing: At any time you can take a mindful breath – stop what you’re doing and feel your breath. Conscious breathing is the most common mindfulness technique.
Mindful Walking (Set the timer for 5-10 minutes if you’d like. Some people find it helpful to know the time is being kept while meditating.)
- Find a quiet place in your home where you can walk back and forth at least 20-30 feet at a time or in a circle. Make the decision to use the time to cultivate moment to moment kindly awareness.
- Stand still for a moment and anchor your attention in your body. Be aware of yourself in the standing posture. Feel your body.
- Start to walk slowly and deliberately. Notice how it feels to lift one foot, step forward, and place it down as the other foot begins to lift off the floor. Do the same with the other foot. Feel the sensations of lifting, stepping, and placing over and over again. Feel free to use the words “lift” “step” “place” or another word that feels good to focus your attention on the task.
- When your mind wanders, gently return to the physical sensations of walking. If you feel any urgency to move faster, simply note that and return to the sensations of walking.
- Do this with kindness and gratitude. Your relatively small feet are supporting your entire body; your hips are supporting your whole torso. Experience the marvel of walking.
- Move slowly and fluidly through space, being aware that you’re walking. Some people find it easiest to keep their attention below the knees or exclusively on the soles of the feet.
- When you reach the end of your walking space, pause a moment, take a conscious breath, remain anchored in your body, and reverse direction.
- At the end of the meditation period, invite yourself to be mindful of body sensations throughout the day. Notice the sensations of walking you go on to your next activity. ~Christopher Germer, The Mindful Path to Self Compassion.
Attempt to fully feel, enjoy and extend our positive experiences, appreciate fully.
Now can be a positive time to savor a past experience. Going through a past memory that brings you joy and sharing it. Take a pause to savor a present moment. Combined with mindfulness this can be a beautiful practice to savor the sunset, a conversation with a friend, a moment of a positive experience.
This week write about a moment that you have savored.
This visit is designed to help you take the time to acknowledge something that another person has done for you. It has positive, resilient lasting effects on both the giver and the receiver of gratitude.
Here are the steps:
- Think of someone who has been especially kind to you / influential to you that you would like to thank. Chose someone with whom you could arrange to have an in-person/ virtual /or social distance meeting at this time.
- Your task is to write a gratitude letter to this individual. Take some time to sit down, reflect, and write a letter. Be specific about what he or she did for you and how it affected your life. Let the person know what you are doing now and how their efforts impacted your life.
- Now arrange a time to read your letter out loud to this person — over the phone/facetime/from social distancing/or in your home.
Directly following the gratitude visit answer these questions:
- How did the other person react to your expression of gratitude?
- How were you affected by their reaction?
- Take some notes of your experience.
- Take some time to savor.
- Take some time to do a Gratitude Visit.
Share your experience with us. Better yet… join us for our Cultivating Resilience Group to share in the discussion. Email firstname.lastname@example.org for details.
About The Author:
Becky Andrews is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Small Business Owner – Resilient Solutions, Inc, and founder of the Daring to Own Your Story ™ Retreats. She is also the author of Look up, move forward – her memoir of Losing her eyesight and finding her vision.
You can follow her at:
Cultivating our Resilience Workbook/Journal will be out Fall 2020. Email Becky at email@example.com to be on the waiting list or preorder.
- Header: Photo of a woman savoring a cup of coffee as she cradles the cup in both her hands.
- Becky is sitting on outdoor steps next to her guide dog, Georgie, a gorgeous yellow lab.