Posted on 25 Comments

You Matter To Me

Featured image shows Victoria sitting on a large rock on the beach as the sun sets behind her

BEAUTY BUZZ & BLOG BIZ | MUSIC

Know You Matter

Don’t reduce yourself,
Not for anyone else,
Know your value from within,
Let it radiate through your skin,

~Victoria Claire | Know You Matter
Landscape shot across marshlands with a large boat winch on the left and Victoria walking towards the camera on the bottom right of the picture. The sun sets in the background.
Landscape shot

For the last few days, I’ve been attempting to publish a blog post about my recent experience at a 3-day conference. “To Impress Or Not To Impress” is the title I chose because of the internal struggle I felt. Truth be told, for the past week and a half, I haven’t felt like I’m enough. What it boiled down to was trying to seek validation from others was a very uncomfortable feeling for me. Then this morning, I listened to “Know You Matter” a new single released today by my good friend Victoria Claire.

So many of us are looking outside of ourselves to find what can only be found on the inside—value. Knowing your value, who you really are, empowers you to accept yourself wholeheartedly. When you know who you are you can stand confidently in the knowledge that you matter. Self-compassion, accepting yourself as you are is a key component to loving others.

The Creative Process

2019 was a year of revelation for me in coming to terms with who I am. Serendipitous is the only word I can use to explain my ongoing journey to self-discovery. And I’m so thankful that part of this journey enabled me to be part of Vicky’s creative process. Following is an excerpt written by Vicky, from the upcoming edition of CAPTIVATING! about this process:

The creative process of going into a recording studio is one of building from the base up, from a band perspective the first track to be laid down is always the rhythm section, drums, then bass, after this comes the melody section, keys, guitar, strings, etc. the last part is always the vocals, this means the lead vocal and any harmonies. Once all elements have been recorded it’s over to the editing room to edit and mix, this can be a lengthy process for the producer but probably the most important part. Once this has been done the track then has to be mastered.

~Victoria Claire

Vicky is an extremely multi-talented person who sings, composes, sculpts, speaks, advocates, surfs, and skateboards just to name a few. As an artist, she thinks deeply and feels even more deeply. In “Know You Matter,” you are gifted a rare glimpse into my friend Victoria.

Finding Know You Matter:

Here is the link to iTunes for the song: https://apple.co/35Ftjhg. The song is also available on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon, Google Music, Tidal, Youtube and more. 

Connecting With Victoria Claire:

Image Descriptions:

  • Featured image shows Victoria sitting on a large rock on the beach as the sun sets behind her 
  • Landscape shot across marshlands with a large boat winch on the left and Victoria walking towards the camera on the bottom right of the picture. The sun sets in the background. 

25 thoughts on “You Matter To Me

  1. Sadly, even though we had been best friends, me a single Mom since he was 9 months old, Father who never bothered to visit him, he started leaving my life after my Mom died. He’s left 3 times, has been gone since Feb 14th, 2007. He doesn’t respond at all to my cards and emails.so I’ve left it in his hands now.

    1. I’m sorry to hear about your fractured relationship with your son Katelon. Leaving it in his hands sounds like a wise move and I hope for a good outcome for both of you.

  2. While I can relate to the optimism of your words, ‘I’ll always believe in possibilities,’ I do have to rein in my ‘guns-ho’ drive and practice patience and take all the necessary steps one at a time.
    And yes, I also relate to your reflection on ‘being enough’ in valuing ourselves or feel that, akin to what ‘Katelon’ wrote, we need the validation from others.
    I will listen to Vicky’s song, ‘Know You Matter!’
    Thank you for this thought-provoking post Steph. Xx

    1. I hope you enjoy the song and can resonate with the message.

      Love Vicky x

      1. I listened to your beautiful song Vicky. It appeals to me and has an encouraging message. Applauding! 👏🏻👏🏻🥰

      2. So glad to hear you like Vicky’s song Wendy. I’ll let her know.

    2. Hi Wendy, thank you for coming here and reading this post. I think you’ll really like Vicky’s song.

  3. What a sweet post. It is such an important lesson to learn that valuing is an inside job! I longed for my Dad to let me know he loved me, for him to acknowledge what I was achieving, rather than just hear the judgments or criticisms. That never happened. So I had to learn to give myself that praise and love I was seeking. I read a meme or quote once referring to how we let others’ opinions of ourselves affect us when in truth, we don’t even like those people anyway, so why listen to their criticisms. It wasn’t referring to those we love but those in our lives who we really shouldn’t care about listening to.

    Learning and reaching the point where we know we are enough, know we are loved and lovable, just as we are, is quite a feat in the midst of this presently dysfunctional world. Human BEINGS, rather than Human DOINGS. I look forward to a time when unconditional love is expressed, taught and shared everywhere…versus the way we are taught from birth now that we start from a damaged place.

    Matthew Fox wrote a great book titled “Original Blessing”. What a concept 🙂

    love to you, katelon

    1. Hey Katelon, I’m getting ready to meet a friend for breakfast and will respond to your comment when I can fully focus a little later today. As always thank you! Hugs! Steph

      1. Enjoy your breakfast!

      2. Thanks Katelon, breakfast was so good and it was great seeing my friend again. Last year was the first time I met her in person at the women’s retreat so it was pretty cool being able to spend time with her today since her and her husband are in town celebrating their son’s birthday.

      3. Very nice Stephanae…real time in person friends are great to have!

    2. Hi Katelon,

      I have been committed to a self development pathway working with my therapist for 5 years to get to this place of self acceptance, my affirmation I am enough, I have enough and I matter enough along with the self compassion work has been the very inspiration for my song Know You Matter.

      I too have felt the need of approval and recognition from my dad but once I learnt compassion for why my dad is the way he is I was then able to let go of the importance I was putting on getting his approval.

      Yes the world is dysfunctional but it is possible to block out the noise of what society puts on us and truly connect with our inner beings. To trust ourselves fully to see the greatness that lays within and to know that our lives are led by us and us alone has made me a much more contented person.

      As a blind woman I refuse to be defined not by my circumstance, faith or professional career, I am more than all of those things just as I am and I have learnt to let go of looking for validation in what I do, I choose to be who I am as a human and that is enough.

      Thanks for your commen on Stephs post, we are all continually learning and are all on our own pathways.

      Take care
      Love Vicky x

      1. Vicky, your words “As a blind woman I refuse to be defined not by my circumstance, faith or professional career, I am more than all of those things just as I am and I have learnt to let go of looking for validation in what I do, I choose to be who I am as a human and that is enough.” mean so much. I’m so happy that you are my friend and you’ve been so helpful to me in my journey to self-discovery. It’s liberating when we find the strength to live and be who we are without comparing ourselves to others. I love you, my friend. 🤗

    3. It’s sad to hear that you had to seek praise and love from your father. So many take it for granted that the love of parents is always there and unfortunately for many of us it just isn’t there for whatever reason. I’ve tried on previous occasions to value myself but really was never able to do so until last year when I learned about self-compassion. Ironically, my mother, also the person who I always sought acceptance from, sent me one of the nicest voicemail messages I ever received from her last year. It was like once I began valuing who I am she could see my worth. I kept the voicemail as I plan to write a piece about it and perhaps when I get around to writing my book maybe I can include it there.

      This world is so dysfunctional and more materialistic than I thought we’d ever be capable of. When I watched the video “The Story of Stuff” while I wasn’t too surprised about the content it really made me think and want to make personal changes in my life to better the planet.

      I’ll have to check out Matthew Fox’s book.

      I love you Katelon!

      1. Love you, too! Glad your Mom came around and left you that nice voicemail.

        My Mom came to visit my son, for my birthday, in Seattle in August 99. She died Oct. 99.

        In her BD card to me she wrote, “You are the light of my life”. She had often been so judgmental and critical that I looked at that card for a long time, stunned!

      2. Wow Katelon!! I have to wonder if more children than not view their parents as people who really aren’t present. My three sons would definitely agree and so would I that I was also judgmental and critical but I also displayed compassion and vulnerability. And since my mother never said she loved me when I was young I always told my kids that I loved them but maybe even this wasn’t enough. How does your son see you?

  4. I feel I am stuck in my post Christmas Grinch state! This is not a good time for me and depression/anxiety but I also feel very unsettled. Writing in my journal is helping but a very long work contract knocked me back a bit. Confidence was fine but my body was overtired with the overwhelming numbness and tingling in extremities. This year I think I will try to focus on what is achievable and realistic while aiming high enough.
    I so admire your capacity to reach for the stars. K x

    1. Kerry, I’m sorry to hear you’re still having a rough time of it. I recently ordered a journal from Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui of “A Life In Progress” but I have to download an app on my phone to be able read the sections that have text. Last year I came to the realization that my worth or value was tied to my work and so I’ve made significant changes in this area because I have to be enough as I am. While I’ll always believe in possibilities I will temper it with doing the best I can with what I have. In a little over a month I’ll be in Houston!

      1. Looking forward to it! This time of year is always difficult for me but spring is coming! 😀

      2. It’s typically difficult for me as well but I think going to the conference I attended last week helped a bit. And of course now I’m looking forward to coming to Houston next month. I just hope I can continue without hitting the wall.

      3. I hope so, too! At least the weather will be a bit warmer in Houston.

      4. Thank heavens!

  5. Often it is so easy to empower other souls and more challenging to empower ourselves.
    Well done of you.

    1. Hi Irene, thank you for your comment. I will pass this along to Vicky. Have a nice weekend!

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