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Like Threads In A Tapestry We Weave Our Story

Talk about misunderstanding. This featured image is a selfie of me weaing a black knit headband and furry sweater. I'm also wearing bright red lipstick and to many people I don't look blind.

That which we do not understand may seem to us to be incongruous. Could there be more to the story?

Understanding, is it me or does it seem to be in short supply today? Then we have assumptions, we all make them.

Unfortunately, based on our assumptions, we often come to conclusions without understanding the full story. In the realm of disabilities, assumptions can be particularly venomous.

When we don’t meet certain ‘expectations’ weird things can happen and we may find ourselves on the receiving end of a tongue lashing. For example, a wheelchair may signal to us the user is unable to stand or walk when this may not be the case at all.

There is no “all or nothing” approach to disabilities. Yet we mistreat people with disabilities because we fail to understand their individual situation.

In today’s climate, it is so easy to have our say with a couple of keystrokes. I sometimes think we forget the targets of our comments are human.

Social media furthers misunderstandings partly due to the following reasons:

  1. We don’t read an entire message
  2. We take it out of context
  3. We believe something simply because it’s published

Bold Blind Beauty believes for us to transcend barriers we need to change the way we perceive one another. The only way to achieve this goal is by sharing our stories, and being out here living our lives to shift the narratives.

Change begins with us. If we can acknowledge we don’t understand all things or all people perhaps we can open the door to learning.

Why don’t we begin with what we share in common, our humanness? We all have flaws and are not perfect. We have biases, thoughts, feelings, opinions, and pride.

Like individual threads in a tapestry, each of us is different. By ourselves, we can be colorful. However, when woven together we can create a beautiful picture telling a different story.

18 thoughts on “Like Threads In A Tapestry We Weave Our Story

  1. This is an excellent post… You are right, we tend to make assumptions. Basically because of our own ignorance. I ´d say that assumptions are based on stereotypes many times. Others it is an easy way to simplify everything without even taking the necessary time to process information and fully understand things. The examples you provide as are eloquent. And so is the title of this post. You leave me thinking!. Thak you dear Stephanae. Love & best wishes 😀 <3

    1. Thank you for reading and for your wonderful insight. I’ve had to check myself in the assumption department. It used to be an automatic reflex and now I intentionally stop and think there could be something going on that I don’t understand. I think maturity and grace had really helped me in this area.

  2. beautifully written.
    i remember once being introduced to a woman in the park, my kids were playing while i sat on the bench and it isn’t apparent to people that i am blind – because i know where to look by the sound of their voice, so i usually speak to someone looking straight into their eyes. so that day when i told her that i was blind and couldn’t see the photo of her new grandbaby, she asked me how did i have children if i’m blind.
    go figure.

    1. Thank you!! I’ve heard so many similar remarks from friends of mine where people seem to think we can’t procreate when blind. One friend had people actually telling her while she was pregnant that she shouldn’t have kids. I wouldn’t have the gull to say this to anyone.

      1. i have three. people are so backward sometimes that they tell my family i deserve hardship because i was so inconsiderate to myself and went ahead and had three kids – and that my husband is such a nice person for accepting to marry a blind person.

      2. Oh no!! Hearing stuff like this makes me nauseous. Isn’t great to be judge and jury?

      3. yes, but after a while, i laugh at it. people can be so ignorant in life, about life, and yet think they know it all.

  3. This brings up so many good points Steph!!

  4. I heard yesterday an interview with psychologist Jordan Peterson , https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TK2-xYyNpYk , in which he claimed that there are at least eight elements that complicate a personal exchange:

    (1) the self I am projecting. (2) the self I really am (3) the real person i am talking to or interacting with (4) and my projection or interpretation of who that person is and what she is about. Numbers 5-8 apply to the other in our encounter.

    Wow! No wonder communication, not to mention respect, is so challenging. I appreciate your addressing this issue with regard to differences in physical projections and realities. Your writings are helpful.

    1. Thank you for your comment Albert. Yes, we are such complicated creatures and I think many times throughout our day as we interact with others we forget. The interview sounds interesting and I’ll check it out. Thanks so much!!

  5. Beautifully written and so true. I must admit, if I see someone in a wheel chair, I automatically think that they can’t stand or walk. I don’t think about the fact that they might just have limited mobility and a wheel chair is necessary when they are going to be traversing a fairly long distance. Humm. Thanks for helping me to expand my understanding.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I think many of us share some of the same sort of thoughts about different disabilities especially those that are visible. Although invisible disabilities come with their own set of issues. Recently I’ve seen a few articles about accessible parking spaces and how some people are taking advantage of the system while there are others who have a disability but because it isn’t apparent people think they are faking. There are no easy answers which is why it’s so important for people to advocate on behalf of themselves and others. We cannot assume people know what our issues might be.

      1. Totally agree! Even though I do know people who use their spouses handicapped sticker to park in those spots. To me, that is worse than someone else doing it. They really should know better!

      2. Heaven’s yes. They should not be doing that because they are victimizing those who really need those spaces. I can’t think of anyone I know personally doing it and now that I think about it I may do a little post on FB because they may think what they are doing is harmless but it does more damage and perpetuates this whole people “faking” disabilities thinking.

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