Learning To Be Present Through The Loss Of Sight

“I never thought I could “go through that” until going through “that” was the best alternative.”

Being a pragmatic person who has to have loads of information, then weigh the pros and cons, when faced with a situation where the path forward appears murky I try to find another path. When my eyesight began dwindling away and pathways to vision restoration closed down I was stopped in my tracks.

Residing in a state of denial during the span of time from when I was declared legally blind up until I needed to begin using the white cane was my new reality. The fear wasn’t so much the blindness rather it was the not knowing what was ahead.

Since the decline of my eyesight was so severe it was excruciating not being able to see further than my new limitation. The white cane became not only my lifeline but the tool that would be my eyes so that I could relax and travel safely.

I feel so vulnerable when I take my dog, Mollie, outside because it’s not practical to use my white cane. Without the cane, my steps are a little unsure and I have to trust Mollie to warn me if an animal or person invades our space.

It occurred to me that it’s within this range of either Mollie or my white cane that I’m safe. No, I can’t determine what’s beyond the range but that’s okay because all I have to concern myself with is where I’m at now.

On Mother’s Day, I felt that same sense of safety as me and several family members had dinner with my mother at the nursing home. We laughed and had such a great time enjoying each other’s company I didn’t even look at my phone except to take a picture of my grandson.

I know that time is winding down not just for my mother but all of us. More and more each day I am given I enjoy my loved ones and can’t imagine what life would be like without them.

Life is way too short to waste it focusing on things we have no control over. Live life now and be in the moment.

Low Key Ensemble

What I wore: Ann Taylor black tee (old), black leggings, black crisscross heels | DSW, gray long hooded vest, and of course my white cane. I wore a long silver toned tassel necklace, cuff bracelet, and earrings.

Author: Steph McCoy

Hi, I'm Steph, a businesswoman, style setter, blogger, and abilities crusader who breaks the myth that “blind people can’t be fashionable.” “Real Beauty Transcends Barriers”

25 thoughts on “Learning To Be Present Through The Loss Of Sight”

  1. I just love this post and your courage. I have so many questions: can you see the screen at all? How do you combat that fear that you wrote about (the not knowing what is literally ahead of you)? Why did you lose your eyesight?

    Thank you so much for writing such an inspirational post and blog. I wish you good luck and look forward to reading more posts.

    Thanks!

    Elizabeth

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Elizabeth, Thank you for coming by reading and commenting on my post. While I choose to be identified as “blind” I have some residual vision. Thanks to built in accessibility features in Windows I am able to use the magnification to view my screen and when I come across a wordy piece I can use the narrator which reads the text for me. Combatting the fear of the unknown is an ongoing process but I’ve learned to remind myself that where I am at any particular moment I’m okay and I put thoughts of what’s ahead of me out of my mind because there’s no point in dwelling on that which I have no control. It was a very difficult process for me because I was so used to the need for control but the loss of sight has given me greater insight which I wouldn’t trade for anything.

      My sight loss was due mainly to high myopia (severe nearsightedness) which I’ve lived with all my life. The myopic eye is elongated (sort of shaped like a football). At the back of the eye where the retina is located it becomes stretched thin because of the shape. In my case I developed macular holes in both eyes when essentially stole my central vision. The central vision is needed for reading, close up work, recognizing faces, driving, etc.

      After the development of the first macular hole in my left eye I began having all sorts of vision related issues, cataracts, torn retina, glaucoma and uveitis. None of these issues are related to the macular holes.

      Thankfully when we lose eyesight there is a great deal of help from low vision specialists and personal adjustment to blindness classes. Blindness is not black and white like many people envision, rather it is a massive range of a lack of sight that differs from person to person.

      Like

    1. Life is way too short and the older I get the more I try to pack into each day. It’s odd how now I’m more intentional, heaven knows I wasn’t thinking like this when I was younger but I’m definitely more appreciative of each day.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I have a similar one, but it’s a wild animal print. I wouldn’t mind having more. I keep hearing we might get a Marshalls here, but so far we haven’t. I’m sure yours will go with lots of outfits. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ooo animal print💖 We have several Marshalls here in Pittsburgh. While I prefer shopping online (items are easier to see) my brother and I take our mother to the one nearest her nursing home. It seems like we go there every two weeks but it makes my mom happy.

        Liked by 1 person

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