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The Post That Almost Wasn’t

Catching You Up To Speed

Mom is wearing a denim cap embellished with rhinestones, aviator sunglasses and a coral top as she sits in her hospital bed prepared for transportation to the nursing facility.
Mom is wearing a denim cap with rhinestones, aviator sunglasses and a coral top as she sits in her hospital bed awaiting transport to the nursing facility.

Have you ever felt like you are so far behind that no matter what you do you’ll never catch up? I’ve been feeling like this for the past few days and so I’ve made a couple of decisions that I think in the short-term will help minimize my increased panic attacks. More on this in a minute.

After my mother’s recent hospitalization due to a fall which left her severely dehydrated and confused, she was discharged to a skilled nursing facility for rehabilitation. As she continues to make progress from a physical perspective, it was here where she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease.

Since my grandmother succumbed to the same disease 26 20 years ago, when I noticed my mother’s slightly impaired cognition a while back, I met with her doctors who helped me understand the importance of identifying the cause of her issues to enable them to predict the trajectory of her situation. Even so unless a person is willing, or legally deemed incapacitated, little can be done to urge them to seek medical attention.

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This was the case with my mom who after several unsuccessful attempts on my part to talk her into being assessed, she refused. Admittedly while I disagreed with her way of handling the situation I have to say up until her fall, she was highly functioning and fully able to live on her own. Unfortunately her current condition requires 24/7 monitoring so moving forward my brother and I will look into the best options for her continued care.

The facility where my mom is staying is pretty nice and I typically spend most of my time attending her various therapy sessions, taking her to the internet café (a swanky lounge/café/computer room), doing lunch and/or the lovely courtyard where she can enjoy the outdoors. While I’ve taken a few pictures I have to use great care to ensure other resident’s privacy is maintained by not including them in the photos.

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So what does all of this have to do with my blog? Time, or rather not enough time prevents me from doing all of the things I want or need to accomplish within a set timeframe. Because of this I will attempt to blog at least once a week, with the exception of guest posts and reblogs. Hopefully as our family settles into our new routine I will be able to get back on schedule within the next few weeks but I have to play it by ear for now.

Posting once weekly will allow me more time to visit your blogs as I’m severely behind and I want to catch up on what’s going on in your lives.

Until next time, have a great week and I will be stopping by your place very soon! ~Steph

 

63 thoughts on “The Post That Almost Wasn’t

  1. I’m truly sorry to hear about your mom’s condition, lots of love from Russia! And by the way, Harvard university has recently discovered some ways to help slow down the progression of the disease you can find out more in my latest medical blog post at http://medicalessential.wordpress.com

    stay positive and keep fighting! <3

    1. Thank you so much for your comment and helpful information on slowing the progression of Alzheimer’s. Hopefully there will soon be a cure for this awful disease. 🙂

  2. Time is just never enough to get all we need to get done, but in this case, you are spending your time just right. Your mama’s a beauty and taking care of her is quite important. Stay blessed and also take it easy on yourself.

  3. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Glad you have a brother and that you two support one another during this time.

    1. Thank you Kathy! My brother and I are working through our issues to do what’s best for our mother. She was moved to a private room on Thursday and seems so much happier. Even though her and I have had our issues most of the time I’ve tried to do the right thing for her although on those off times I had to disengage for my own sanity.

      1. Totally understand

  4. Not easy! My heart goes out to you. How eonderful for your mom that you are so present for her! Your mom, by the way, looks seriously cool!! I love the cap and glasses.

    It seems when eldery people fall, as they do often do, due to balance issues, it impacts everything and creates so many new challenges.

    Best to you both,
    Peta

    1. Hi Peta, thank you for your kind words and the compliment on my mom’s look! I’ll have to relay this to her because it will make her day!! Thanks again 💖

  5. Oh Stephanae! I have been going thru junk myself and ashamed to say I haven’t checked in here recently. I am sorry to read this news and will send light and love your way. You are truly a loving daughter no matter how much history of getting on each other’s nerves there is! I keep praying a miraculous cute is found for Alzheimer’s. It ravages what’s most precious. Big hugs, Stephanie

    1. Hey Steph! its so so good to hear from you😄 Thank you for sending much needed positivity my way. I dont know too many people who Alzheimer’s d a cure hasn’t touched in some way. We definitely need a cure asap. Its so sad seeing the devastating effects of this disease. Hugs back at ya!! 💖 ✨❤

  6. Hi Steph! It’s a relief to hear your mom is being looked after at a nursing facility, and that you’re spending some quality time with her. I, like you I’m behind on blogging. I don’t have enough hours in the day to visit all my favourite blogs. I’m juggling too many things at present, and even though I post once a week, it’s still difficult to keep up. So don’t beat yourself up, life does get in the way. Hopefully, you’ll find a comfortable rhythm. Take care…*hugs*

    1. Yup, I’m right there with you Khaya!

  7. Hi Steph sweety…I’m glad your mom has a wonderful daughter like yourself who cares so much about her well-being. My grandma and grandpa had Alzheimers and I know how difficult this situation can get for everyone in the family. Like the others said do take care of yourself and know that there is prayers going out for you and your mom. Me and my sisters had so much fun with my grandpa because he saw us little girls at some point…speaking to us like he did years before. What I’m trying to say is, I know all the frustration that goes with Alzheimers, but we treasure the beautiful moments we had taking care of him. Remember God will never give you more than what you can handle.
    Take care babes!
    Love Chanty

    1. Thank you so much for your sweet comment Chanty. <3

  8. Steph, Thanks for taking the time to update us. Take care of yourself and your mom. That is first priority. The blog is second or third on the list.

  9. Your new reality might mean some changes here on your blog, too. Life gets in the way for all of us at one time or another, so take care of yourself first. Thinking of you and your mom and sending hugs your way.

  10. I wondered at your absence and I am glad to hear you post again. Take good care of yourself and look forward to reading your updates.

  11. I can well understand why you haven’t been around on WordPress as much of late. I’m sorry that your mom is still having some problems and needs constant care, but it sounds from what you say that she’s at least being kept comfortable and well looked after, which is so important. Best of luck to her and to you, Steph. 🙂

      1. You’re welcome, Steph. I hope you’ll return to being your usual blogging powerhouse self very soon. 🙂

  12. Sorry to hear about your Mom’s fall. Glad she is getting the care she needs. I rarely post these days, and I don’t have an excuse other than energetically I haven’t been led to post. So I admire how often you do post!

    1. Thank you Katelon! <3 Posting in the best of circumstances can be challenging and when we throw in life sometimes I just feel lost.

  13. Your mother is deserving of your priorities at this time. You are doing the right thing. It is a difficult time for your family. God help you to have peace in your choices.

  14. You’d be surprised how many people are dealing with or dealt with a parent with Alzheimer’s Disease. No one ever expects to have a parent with this but it hurts deeply, gracious does it hurt deeply. Then to realize you can’t just pick them up and take them for care is a slap in the face. They have rights like everyone else so that throws a curve in things. It’s a difficult spot for everyone, especially the person with Alzheimer’s Disease who truly believes they are okay.

    My mother neglected her diabetes for too many years and as a result has damage and Alzheimer’s Disease. She did what she wanted with her insulin for a good 35 years. It’s crushing to see someone you love with this illness so my heart goes out to you, especially since it is now you in the role of mother / caretaker with compassion. How do we do it? How do we turn roles and become nurturing to the ones who couldn’t value us enough to give us a simple glance of approval? The strained childhood and adulthood relationship is now set aside, our feelings are set aside, so we can attend to theirs. Funny how we do it. Despite knowing what we went through, we still do it because the human heart was created to love and we will do as we were created to do even if others couldn’t or can’t.

    With hope,
    Faith

    1. Faith I couldn’t have said this any better. I’ve been struggling with feelings and emotions wondering how and why I’m doing it. Then I come to the conclusion that it’s the right thing to do in spite of what was done and I feel a relief that only forgiveness can bring about. Thank you for this deeply insightful comment. <3

  15. I am sorry to hear about your mother. I am praying for you both.

    Blessings,
    Theresa

    1. Thank you for your prayers dear Theresa! <3

  16. My thoughts and prayers are with you Steph…

  17. hoping Mom gets better soon.

  18. Steph, you are carrying a tremendous load, and your own life will naturally be slow. Blogging is fun, and you do a service to so many people. Service begins at home with your family. I’ve been wondering about how quiet you’ve been and was going to inquire. (Honest, I was!) Please know that many people are thinking of you, praying, and will gladly be patient with you.

    1. Hiya George, I had to chuckle at the “honest, I was!” because I really can relate. I’m so glad that I’ve been able to connect with you and others on Facebook because while I cannot post as frequently as I’d like to I do enjoy reading the occasional comment here and there. I hope you’re weathering the recent heatwave. It’s been unbearably humid here in Pittsburgh, so much so, that I don’t go anywhere without my inhaler. Hugs to you and Sandra!! <3

  19. I hope to hear that your mother is doing better soon. She’s lucky to have a lovely daughter like you 🙂

    1. Hey C.M. I so appreciate your comment though I’ve not been such a lovely daughter as my mother and I have a long history of getting on one another’s nerves. As long as she continues to get stronger we treasure her moments of clarity. <3

  20. Take all the time you need Steph to sort your Mom out. It’s a case of priorities and life does have a habit of throwing them up in front of us. In any case, take great care of yourself too.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

    1. Oh David, it is so good to hear from you!! I hope you and the fam are doing well. Life certainly does toss in a few priorities when we least expect them but it is life and all we can do is the best we can with what we have. Thank you for visiting and commenting. <3 Massive Hugs right back at ya!! <3

  21. Steph,
    Your Mom is very precious and enjoy the time you all have with her. You remain in my prayers and may the blessings of God be with all of you.
    Sherri

    1. Yes she is Sherri. Even though most of our lives were spent disagreeing and driving each other nuts I hate seeing her like this and every lucid moment is a treasured one. Thank you for your continued prayers. <3

  22. Totally get it Steph, and I’m surprised you can fit in as much as you do. My mom too has Alzheimer’s and is in a care centre so I know how difficult this is—from a time perspective and emotionally. Take care of your mom and yourself, and in the bit of “free” time you have make sure you do what makes you happy…and don’t beat yourself up about doing less blogging. Enough lecturing! My thoughts are with you.

    1. Oh Caroline I’m so sorry to hear that your mom is also living with Alzheimer’s. It’s such a dreadful disease and while I know there are quite a few clinical trials I’m hopeful that a cure is just around the corner. And you are bring up a valid point on the emotionally draining aspect of not only seeing our relatives going through it but also meeting others in various stages of the disease. Be sure to take your own advice as well. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. <3

  23. Have a great week Steph – take care of mom – she certainly is very important. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 🙂

    1. Thank you Terry!! Hugs to you! <3

  24. Steph, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. We all suffer time constraints, but I can safely say that your reasons for blogging less often far exceed mine in terms of importance. The time you have left with your mom is incalculable and precious, and definitely you have your priorities straight. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    1. Thank Paul. I’ve written about my mother several times as we’ve not had an easy relationship but seeing her so helpless and under the care of other people is stressful but me and my brother will do our best to make sure she is cared for with compassion and dignity. It’s so difficult seeing these elderly residents (knowing that one day it could possibly be me in their situation) and it’s hard watching how the staff try to do the best they can but sometimes due to the behavior of the individual they are ignored.

      1. It has to be difficult for the patient and the caregiver. Scary for the one in need, and stressful for anyone providing the care. Complicated circumstances to be sure, with everyone concerned no doubt feeling a just little bit scared about the whole situation. And it’s frightening to think that we might find ourselves in similar circumstances down the road. Also, I fear it might possibly be something none of us really wish to confront, until we have no choice in the matter.

      2. I agree with everything you mention here Paul. Just the thought of not being in control of my body scares the heck out of me. Some of the residents where my mother is can only grunt, make weird noises or repetitive phrases and I feel for them and the staff. Such an awful disease!

      1. :O) Thank you for the kind words, Dawn.

  25. Steph, sending loving kindness your way. Please don’t be hard on yourself in this difficult time. It’s hard to live with uncertainty. Thanks for the update!

    1. Thank you for your soothing words Susan. <3

  26. I feel like that all the time. Rough stuff, what you and your mom are going through now. Take it easy on yourself.

    1. Hi Kerry, I remember feeling like this many times but this time I feel so out of control. Thank you for reading. <3

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