Man’s Best Friend? Think Again
WARNING: The following revised post features an actual event performed by a professional excessively fearful individual. Accordingly, Bold Blind Beauty must insist that no one attempt to re-create the following activity performed in this article.
It’s 2:59 in the morning when the ear-piercing sound awakens me out of the deepest sleep I’ve had in weeks. Heart pounding, I leap out of bed with a squeak.
Alarm still blaring, Mollie and I (completely weaponless), run out into the dark living room, it’s here in the span of seconds I walk back and forth thinking:
- If I don’t disarm the alarm the central monitoring station will dispatch emergency personnel.
- If I do disarm the alarm and there is a nefarious something afoot then we’re on our own.
- If I don’t disarm the alarm and the police arrive to a false alarm I’ll be embarrassed.
I make the executive decision to disarm the alarm. I wait. All is quiet now, too quiet. The refrigerator comes on and I nearly have a stroke.
Mollie is looking at me like “really? you got me up for this?” She gives me one more pathetic glance over her shoulder as she walks back into the bedroom. Did I just get dissed by my dog? Does anyone even say diss anymore?
Here’s the thing, I’m a full-fledged scaredy cat whose first instinct in an emergency is to flee. Sadly, if you’re in the vicinity I’ll scream a warning but you’ll need to hustle otherwise you’ll get blown over by my tailwind.
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