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The Worry of Getting it Wrong

Getting Outta The Comfort Zone

Me in a three quarter standing poseOne of the things I like the most about blogging is meeting other bloggers. Reading others’ works and engaging with them sometimes makes me feel like I’ve known them for a very long time.

When I began blogging I was nervous for a number of reasons and among them was “would I be accepted?” Being out here in this virtual universe sometimes makes it a little difficult to know where you stand and can lead to disappoint, discouragement, dejected feelings.

Lately I’ve been seeing quite a few posts that speak to the issues of beauty and perfectionism in general, and more specifically women’s self-worth. Could it be that by virtue of our being natural nurturers that we feel the need to please? And by the need to please does this translate to casting doubt on who we are as individuals to the point that we feel we aren’t good enough leading us to mimic others while losing ourselves in the process?

I could spend till the end of time talking about beauty and self-worth but today I want to specifically focus on personal style and what it really looks like.

Three quarter sitting pensive pose.

Standing with one hand on hip.

Recently I was reading an interesting interview from the blog 40 + Style on a fascinating woman of a certain age, Sarah Jane, aka saramaijewels. I was completely captivated by this woman’s powerful confidence, fearlessness, and honesty. To see the entire interview you can visit HERE, but in the interim here is one piece that I just love:

Would you say that at this stage of your life you are now more, or less interested in fashion, style and the way you look?

I’ve never been interested in fashion. I never will be. I am anti-fashion. I am anti-commercialism and all for individual expression. Fashion kills individuality. It is all about consumerism not individuality. I never buy or read magazines, or follow any fashion shows etc. I am not interested in predictions for the next season etc. etc. I will not be dictated to in that way.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Go With It

I’m sure words like “fashion kills individuality” is like poking a hornet’s nest and I can’t help but smile at the thought of the fervor her words incite. Though there is some truth to her comments but what appealed to me most was her style.

To give you an idea of her unique eclectic style I’ve bulleted a few of her outfits below:

  • Camouflage pants, red Adidas tank top and blue high top sneakers
  • Baggy jeans, plaid shirt, blue high tops and trench coat
  • Purple joggers, yellow top layered over a white top, purple scarf, red utility boots and yellow trench
  • Print bohemian style maxi tunic, knee-high suede lace up boots and camouflage jacket

I think one of the major issues we encounter when talking about style for someone who is blind or vision impaired is the lack of information. We live in a sighted world therefore when buying online the assumption is everyone can see so there’s no need to describe patterns, size, colors, etc.

How can we, as blind and vision impaired individuals, make an informed decision on a purchase when we are missing critical information? This is one of those areas that is constantly evolving and with universal design in mind improving to hopefully bridge the information gap.

Vamping - sitting with one hand on hip, other hand on crossed knee and head tossed over one shoulder.

If you are in the process of developing or redefining your style by perhaps branching out into different types of dresses versus your usual jeans and t-shirt. It would help to determine up front if you’re looking for something more casual as opposed to office or formal attire.

I would recommend physically going to a department store, preferably with a trusted friend or family member, and trying on an A-line, flare, halter, empire, bodycon, shirt dress, maxi, pleated, sundress, sheath, etc. in a number of different fabrics.

With input from the person you take with you, stand, sit, bend, then ask yourself how each dress feels:

  • Does the color make you glow?
  • Does it hang right?
  • Does it emphasize your best characteristics?
  • Is the length what you want?
  • Do you feel comfortable?

You could ask a multitude of questions but if you do not feel comfortable in the garment you may want to move on to the next one. Remember there are many silhouettes to choose from.

When talking dresses my favorite is the wrap followed by fit & flare and then maxi. During the summer especially I love wearing maxis simply because they are so effortless.

Frontal siting pose.

In today’s post I am wearing a black & white paisley print maxi (with and without a blue denim vest), black heels, and a bright red clutch. Since this maxi is a little long I’m debating whether or not to hem but here’s where options come into play. I can choose to wear it with heels all the time or I can take small section of the hem and knot it to enable me to wear flats or sandals – ya gotta love options.

The other mention on this dress is the plunging neckline. Typically I do not wear deep necklines but this dress looked so comfortable I decided to give it a go and even, just for giggles, took a vamping picture.

When I’m getting dressed in preparation to face the world do I question myself and what I’m wearing? Most definitely but in the long run I must dress to please myself because it is only through doing this that I can feel good. As one of my new blogger friends said yesterday he likes my mantra on my “About” “when you feel good, you look good” and I believe this with all my heart.

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” ~Sally Field

11 thoughts on “The Worry of Getting it Wrong

  1. Thank you Theresa. Oooo the dress you describe sounds divine. I love all shades of blue but especially teal, azure, turquoise, and royal. Off the shoulder is a great look for a full figure and you could also try horizontal stripes as they elongate the body.

    Thank you for your remarks on my thoughts on self-worth. I share your struggle.

    The age of internet (as great as it is) has also magnified our insecurities. Everyone has, and is intitled to their opinion, but the problem arises when there is a lack of personal censorship or constructive criticism.

    1. I didn’t see this comment until just now. I just started a new job and have gotten behind in my email and blog reading. Your words are so encouraging. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend.


      1. Congratulations on your new job!

  2. I love the maxi dress! It is really pretty on you. I like to wear maxi dresses, too, but they can be a challenge, because I am full figure and short. I have one that is shades of teal blue and black and it is strapless. I wear it with a black cotton knit cardigan.

    I really appreciate what you said about a woman’s self-worth, and the challenge of interacting in these new ways. I struggle with those things.

    1. Thank you Theresa. Oooo the dress you describe sounds divine. I love all shades of blue but especially teal, azure, and royal.

  3. “Could it be that by virtue of our being natural nurturers that we feel the need to please?” Excellent.

    A-line, maxi…uh. That’s as far as I go. I swear I’m not a woman (I don’t try THAT hard to please). The female universe is a dizzy world! And you look fabulous in your dress, dahling.

    1. Hahaha D. I swear if you were here I could do the “air kisses” with you dahling lol.

  4. Lovely post, Steph! Thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts. You look lovely, btw!

    1. Thank you Jacqueline!!

  5. Beautiful

    1. Thank you Rita!!

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