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Fierce Fridays: A Survey of Men

“Guys, would you date a beautiful woman who was blind?”

Men's Room Sign
Men’s Room Sign

This question was posted on a message board I recently came across and I was intrigued enough to want to see the responses. For all of my fellow blind women I’ve got some great news…80% of the people who answered this question would date us. Following are four of the actual responses (link to the forum and responses is at the end of this post):

“I’d prefer it. She wouldn’t know I was ugly, and I could help her with whatever she might need.”

“Yes, she wouldn’t know what looked like, but obviously, being with someone who had a disability like that would mean a lot of sacrifices.”

“As long as she didn’t insist on driving on our date, I would have no problem with it.”

“I’m afraid not, too much hardship to deal with.”

Is the question a legitimate one? I think so, even though the number of people affected by vision impairment is increasing I believe most fully sighted people do not come into contact with a blind person in their day-to-day living which leads to misperceptions.

I have to say when I first found this forum and some of the answers that followed, I was a little irritated. First, I wasn’t thrilled with the adjective used to describe a specific type of blind woman. To assume the person who posed the question is referring to a model-perfect looking, completely blind woman, would be in my opinion, as judgmental as some of the answers. Then as I mulled it over I began to really appreciate the candor and the self-deprecation of some responders. Could a few of the responders benefit from a little enlightenment? Maybe, but one of the great things about living in the U.S. is we do have freedom of choice and the right to speak our minds. So I applaud everyone who addressed this question as it applied to their personal situation. As I explained in a earlier post there is a vast range of blindness/vision impairment. Most of us who consider ourselves blind do have some functional vision and as defined by the National Federation of the Blind one would have to dismiss the notion that blindness is a total lack of sight.

For the responders who think that being with a blind person would be a hardship, and while they are entitled to this opinion, they will never know what they’re missing. Since losing my sight my world has expanded to include friends that are completely sighted, completely blind, and a variation of both. I am saddened and glad to be one who is now enlightened. Saddened because I too harbored misconceptions and had an overall lack of understanding on what blindness is and what it looks like. To some degree I think losing my vision has helped me to take a hard look at myself and learn a little something about others.

What I’ve learned about my blind friends is that they are exactly like me prior to losing my vision. My blind female friends are beautiful, capable, intelligent, loyal, caring, thoughtful, independent, ambitious, hardworking and remarkable people. My life is so enriched because of these newly formed relationships and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

Since the focus of Fierce Fridays is dedicated to fierce blind women, I will profile my friends to whom I owe a debt that can never be repaid. You see when a person goes through any major life altering event, such as losing their eyesight, they can reach the point where they believe that they can no longer live the life to which they’ve become accustomed. I found out that this is true, I can no longer live the life to which I was accustomed but my life is so much richer now that I’ve done away with the superficial.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Guys, would you date a beautiful woman who was blind?


4 thoughts on “Fierce Fridays: A Survey of Men

  1. I haven’t seen this post until now. this topic can’t be talked about enough in my opinion. Sometimes I have that pierce attitude that I am so great and any guy would be lucky to have me and then I see the reality and I know it can’t be easy. Depends on the day. 🙂

    1. Yeah, for me at this stage of the game I don’t even know how to get started dating again. To some degree I think appearing sighted is a disadvantage b/c if a guy were meeting my eyes from across the room and of course since I can’t see that he’s doing this, I would come across as aloof. Oh well…

      1. It’s definitely much harder to make that initial connection. If they could just talk to us they would get to see how great we are, but I have found in my life that a lot of guys are somewhat frightened or intimidated by me. I don’t mean that to sound like I’m full of myself. They just don’t know what to expect.

      2. Yeah, and I think to some degree they just don’t know what to expect. The forum where I found the question had some interesting answers from guys (seemed like more of the responses didn’t seem to care one way or the other). But then you had some that felt we needed to be cared for and nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve always been self-sufficient and God willing will always be.

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